The Cure and Prevention for Adultery

After much recovery, healing, prayer and struggle, I have come to realize that there are lots of helpful books and resources geared toward personal/spiritual development and recovery. I am thankful for them. I need them. I learn so much from them. 

However, one thing that trumps them all is what Jesus has that none of us have fully and still struggle to grasp in every day life. Its the one thing that when we do embrace changes everything for us and transforms us. 

What Jesus has and longs to pass on to us, bestow upon us, fill us with, and see us take it and run with it into His loving arms and freedom is the greatest gift that we could ever receive and enjoy.

What is it that could prevent adultery and much heartache and help us all walk through this life more joyfully, more confidently, more boldly and less vulnerable to sin? 

It is this ... JESUS KNEW and KNOWS without any doubt that HE is the BELOVED SON of the FATHER. 

John Eldredge expresses this truth so well, "Do you know how the Father feels about you? Jesus did. He walked through the world knowing He was the Beloved Son, the favored one. It's what enabled Him to live as He did. This relationship was meant to be our secret, our joy too. We were meant to know this, too. First through our earthly fathers, and then by the extension of fatherhood, to our Father in the heavens. But few there are who came through their boyhood with such knowledge intact, without a trace of doubt " John Edlredge, The Way of the Wild at Heart. 

God publicly affirmed Jesus calling out His love for Jesus out loud, "This is My Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." Matthew 3:17. This was a launching point for Jesus' earthly ministry. 

One of the lies of adultery is FALSE AFFIRMATION. God's affirmation is real, and grounded in His perfect love. Not something we give back. He gives it even if we don't do so in return. 

Do you get that? Do I? Not fully. It blows my mind. It speaks directly to my longings, but shame and fear make it hard to accept, at least on many days. 

This is the only true cure for our brokenness. To live as sons and daughters of King Jesus, the first Beloved Son who have His life so that we may live fully alive. 

Every day we wake up we will need to hear this gospel message. The world and evil one will rob you of this joy and truth. Go "back to the well" and fill up each and every day, every hour. If you and I don't, then we will drift away or simply live life on fumes, not fullness. 

Have I Voided My Calling?

Happy 4th of July!! Christ has set us free! Millions of men and women have fought for our freedoms here in America. We are blessed in so many ways. 

This holiday triggers some thoughts for me: Did my sin of adultery nullify or void my calling or future ministry?  

I am still free and Christ's promises still hold true. However, since I blew it a few years ago, and I wrecked the ministry I was involved in, I often wonder what God will have me do as a result. Don't get me wrong, I am blessed and have been given a second chance in my marriage, my family, my walk with Christ. He has used our story to help others. I can share the gospel anywhere, even while doing electrical work. Despite all of that, I still have a longing to do more and share more. What does God have to say about that? What are His plans?

I know I am forgiven. I know God can use the mess up to do something good. I also know that in Scripture, sometimes God required His wayward people to not experience His full blessings due to sin and unbelief. At other times He restored them and they were able to do more and more in His name. Regardless, God's grace and mercy WAS ALWAYS PRESENT. HE NEVER STOPPED LOVING HIS PEOPLE.

Some Examples of God's People Being Excluded from Experiencing More (Despite His grace and mercy)

Adam and Eve sinned and were removed from the garden (Genesis 3)

Moses never got to see or experience the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 32-33)

Many of the Israelites never got to see the Promised Land and wandered in the desert for 40 years (Numbers 32)

David didn't get to build the new Temple (2 Samuel 7, 1 Chronicles 22)

Israelites would be in exile for 70 years before the promises of God were fulfilled to them through Jeremiah (Jeremiah 29:10-14)

Some Examples of God's People Still Being Able to Experience Ministry Opportunities Despite Their Sin

Jonah ran from God but was later obedient and shared a message of repentance to an evil nation who repented (Jonah)

Saul, later named Paul, who crucified Christians, was called by God and wrote a majority of the New Testament (Acts 9)

Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, denied even knowing Jesus but was later restored and led thousands to Christ through His preaching and the Holy Spirit's raining down through him (John 21, Acts 2)

I don't know what all God has planned for Amy and me regarding ministry, vocation, career, etc, but I do know this...

1. He has showered us with His grace and mercy FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. We have experienced Christ Jesus in powerful, real ways despite the intense struggle and pain.

2. God is faithful, even when we are faithless (2 Timothy 2:13). If God wants His people to suffer the full consequences of their sin and be taken out of this world, excluded, punished, etc. then in love He will do that. If God wants to restore them and do even greater things despite their sin, in love He will do that. His ways are higher than ours. He knows what is best and His will is going to be done. He will never deny Himself or His own promises, even if we screw up. I want to be found faithful from here on out, but I know I am incapable on my own.

3. As Christ followers, we all are called to "preach." Our lives are meant to reflect His Light, His Life, and His truth, even after we mess up and sin in big ways. He saved us and calls us to daily repentance, power, and hope to a dark world. I don't have to work in a church or ministry to do ministry. My main ministry starts at my house with my family. Then from there I am called to be a Light where ever I find myself: privately and publicly.

God may choose to allow Amy and I to have an established "ministry" or He may not. Regardless, He is good, faithful, and has done far more than we have deserved. He is the hero of our story. May we give Him the praise and glory, even when we are uncertain about what to do next. We pray He will do far more than we could ever think or imagine!!!

A Betrayal of Love

I received this email today and wanted to pass it on. It is powerful stuff. John Eldredge is one of my favorite authors. He speaks in ways I can process. He has insights that I admire. As my friend Brian Presson used to say, "God saved us in our worst 5 minutes." This daily reading by Eldredge speaks right in to that for sure. God is gracious, even when we were/are at our worst. Wow. He is faithful, even when are faithless.


A Betrayal of Love

Can you imagine if on your honeymoon one of you sneaked off for a rendezvous with a perfect stranger? Adam and Eve kicked off the honeymoon by sleeping with the Enemy. Then comes one of the most poignant verses in all Scripture: "What is this you have done?" (Gen. 3:13). You can almost hear the shock, the pain of betrayal in God's voice. The fall of Adam and Eve mustn't be pictured as a crime like theft, but as a betrayal of love. In love God creates us for love, and we give him the back of our hand. Why? Satan gets us to side with him by sowing the seed of doubt in our first parents' minds: "God's heart really isn't good. He's holding out on you. You've got to take things into your own hands." And Paradise was lost.

Yet there was something about the heart of God that the angels and our first parents had not yet seen. Here, at the lowest point in our relationship, God announces his intention never to abandon us but to seek us out and win us back. "I will come for you." Grace introduces a new element of God's heart. Up till this point we knew he was rich, famous, influential, even generous. Behind all that can still hide a heart that is less than good. Grace removes all doubt.

An exert from the book, The Sacred Romance, by John Eldredge

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Sin is Subtle/Sneaky

Sin never "just happens." There are some obvious sins that we all see and can clearly avoid. But in most cases, even those "big" sins didn't start out big, at least not always. They are like weeds; they start out small, but one day you wake up and your whole flower bed or yard is full of them. Sin can be very subtle (cunning, wily, or crafty) or sneaky like that.

Sin can sneak its way into our lives if we don't squash it early, while it's small and less powerful. Things like undisciplined eating, bad habits, lustful thoughts, interactions with others, and other temptations we face that can "trip us up."Once these things become comfortable, familiar, or ingrained, they can fly under our radar and don't get as noticeable. What used to send up red flags, now gets overlooked due to "2nd nature" type habits. We may notice them and think, "I should get this under control before things get out of hand." At times we heed the warnings and prompting by the Holy Spirit; other times we don't.

This is when transparency, accountability, personal development, prayer, and living in close, Christian community are crucial elements of our walk with Christ and others. Even then it's not "fool proof," but these can make a significant difference in avoiding disaster.

James 1:12-18 (NASB) gives some clear warnings and insights into sin and temptation:

¹² Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has ^[m]been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. ¹³ Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted ^[n]by God”; for God cannot be tempted ^[o]by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. ¹⁴ But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. ¹⁵ Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin ^[p]is accomplished, it brings forth death. ¹⁶ Do not be ^[q]deceived, my beloved brethren. ¹⁷ Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or ^[r]shifting shadow. ¹⁸ In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be ^[s]a kind of first fruits ^[t]among His creatures.

Sin can be sneaky and subtle, but the good news is we have been given power by the Holy Spirit to fight it. Our purity and strength and "Godly habits" are also subtle. We can do a little bit every day to prune the habits, behaviors, and thoughts that trip us up if allowed to grow and take root. The longer we wait to deal with these things, the harder it becomes to undo or change them. Trust me, I know. I am still, at the age of 40, working on issues that should have been dealt with in my college days.

What subtle, small habits, thoughts, actions, etc. do you know notice in your life that are in the early stages of development? Are they leading you to better growth and maturity, or leading you toward disaster? Pray for wisdom and keep the ones that are obedient to Christ, and pray for the courage and strength to change the ones that are leading you away from faithfulness.

What "deep rooted" actions, thoughts, beliefs, actions have you noticed that may need an over haul and intervention that are causing you problems? Are you willing to get help? How much longer will you wait before deciding it's time to change and let others help get you healing and freedom?

What Am I Passing Down?

As I listened to a sermon today at Elevation Church, pastor Steven Furtik said a powerful statement about what we pass down to our children (and more) with our hatred, racism, un-Biblical views, etc. He said:

What doesn't get healed, gets handed down.

What "baggage" am I passing down to my children with my wounds? Am I passing down dishonoring beliefs, actions, philosophies, views, etc due to my unwillingness to let God transform my mind and heart?

I pray that I seek Christ with my WHOLE heart and not just parts of it. I want FULL healing and redemption and restoration, not partial healing.

My new goal in life: END ADULTERY. Not just with me, but in my children and their children and any other person who is willing. God is the hero of our story. He is longing for His people to surrender to His goodness, to His will, to His heart and ways.