Learned helplessness.

There is a term called Learned Helplessness that has always intrigued me. In many areas of my life, I have experienced a sense of learned helplessness. It has taken me two and a half years of recovery to finally start seeing some victory over some of these areas. I still feel a "mental block" with a few things, but I am starting to address these lies more directly, neutrally, and with truth rather than fear or hopelessness/helplessness.

According to Wikipedia, the definition of Learned helplessness is:

A mental state in which an organism forced to endure aversive stimuli, or stimuli that are painful or otherwise unpleasant, becomes unable or unwilling to avoid subsequent encounters with those stimuli, even if they are escapable, presumably because it has learned that it cannot control the situation.^[1] Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.^[2] Organisms that have been ineffective and less sensitive in determining the consequences of their behaviour are defined as having acquired learned helplessness.^[3]

Here are some examples of learned helplessness:

- After several attempts at dieting w/ no weight loss, one learns they can not loose weight and results in depression and possible excessive weight gain.
 
- After dating men who have turned out to complete jerks, a woman convinces herself that all men are that way and discontinues dating.  She learns that men bring pain. 
 
- Pessimists-no matter what happens - their life will be bad. 
 
- Optimists-no matter what happens - their life will be good. 
 
- If a student studies a lot but consistently makes poor grades he/she will start to feel depressed. 

- If a mother tries to discipline her child in different ways, such as, timeout, spanking or words and the child still acts in ways she dislikes (misbehavior), she will start to feel there’s nothing she can do to help the child or herself.  She may be failing as a parent. 

- If someone is at a swimming pool and the lifeguard always seems to blow his/her whistle at them each time they come, they may start to think, “No matter what I do I’ll get into trouble.”  Then they will not want to do anything and will not be able to enjoy themselves.  

- One goes to the doctor and receives a diagnosis of a disease. They go back to the doctor and the disease has worsened.  The doctor says, “Your disease has advanced. This is what it is now.”  This cycle progresses for a while and eventually the patient may believe they are never going to get better and they feel helpless. 
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I know I am not a victim or helpless, despite how I feel or think about some situations. Therefore, I have to remember, if I learned to feel helpless, then I can learn to feel more powerful and less helpless by taking every thought captive unto Christ and living in His truth and freedom. The Bible says that "...God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." We can either believe that truth or not. 

Therefore, I have to ask myself: When do we use stubbornness and determination to keep us in the fight of overcoming fear, insecurity and "helplessness" AND When do we surrender and drop our pride, trusting that God may have other plans? This is a hard question to answer. I think some personalities tend to give in too quickly, while some hold on too long. 

Here's a thought: Don't base your decisions on what "feels" good or comfortable.
 
Adultery recovery hasn't been comfortable or easy but it's been the greatest form of growth and healing Amy and I have experienced. I want to apply this to other areas, such as career, building an Advocare business, growing as a therapist, as a father, as a husband, as a runner, in my nutrition and eating habits, money management and financial intelligence, and on and on. 

Most of these areas of growth won't come easy or "feel" comfortable. God never said to base our walk with Him on "comfort." If anything, He said it will be uncomfortable and we will suffer, BUT He is with us to the very end. His will and way is best, but not necessarily the easiest. I am in recovery from believing the lies of "learned helplessness." I will be victorious as I claim 1 Timothy 1:7 and walk in "power and love and sound mind" and allow God and others to strengthen me and assist me. I can't do it alone. Apart from Christ I can do nothing. In Christ, all things are possible. To God be the glory.