Heart vs. Parts

Sexual purity is a lot about the heart; not just the parts. Staying pure is not just a matter of "not sinning." It's understanding that your soul and heart have longings that too often we try to meet sexually, rather than spiritually and emotionally. We go "wookin pa nub in all the wong places" as Eddie Murphy sang on Saturday Night Live. Crazy remix of another song, but you get the point. 

Heart and soul pain and longings actually INCREASE our vulnerability to sexual sin. It lowers our focus on purity and guarding our hearts and can leave us exposed to temptation that should be obvious. We seem to get "flanked" or blind sided by certain situations that otherwise would have been very easily avoided. 

Proverbs 7:1-5 (NASB) shows this "heart vs. parts" truth very well. Adultery plays to the heart strings. Our hearts and minds will lead us astray if we stop loving/pursuing wisdom, truth, purity, and our relationship with God. Problems and disaster comes when our focus is on selfish desires that mislead us; we fall victim to the lies of adultery. 

How's your heart? Are you vulnerable to temptation that may be headed your way? Guard your heart. Find your true love in God's wisdom and fellowship; not adultery. Find out what the longings are really about, without believing the lies that say "flattery and false validation" will make you feel better. When a dog drinks anti-freeze, it may taste sweet at first, but it quickly kills him by shutting down his organs. Adultery is very much the same. You may not die physically (though people have been killed from it), but spiritually and emotionally it can crush you.

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Proverbs 7:1-5, New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The Wiles of the Harlot

7 My son, keep my words
And treasure my commandments within you.
² Keep my commandments and live,
And my ^[a]teaching as the ^[b]apple of your eye.
³ Bind them on your fingers;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴ Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
And call understanding your intimate friend;
⁵ That they may keep you from an ^[c]adulteress,
From the foreigner who ^[d]flatters with her words.

 

Stupid?

Have you ever felt stupid? I have. Even recently. I used to get so ticked off and mad about it. I don't like it still, but I hope I am growing in my reaction to these feelings. Alot of my stupidity has been due to pride, fear, shame, and stubbornness. Instead of asking for help, reading instructions, looking up "how to" videos, etc, I will often jump right into something, only to struggle a bit. In most cases, I will get the task at hand done, but it usually comes with a lot of frustration and redoing it several times.

For years, I ignored personal and spiritual wisdom and instruction. I hid in shame, pride, guilt, fear, and stubbornness. I lacked discipline. It cost me dearly. I betrayed my wife and family and was found out to be a fraud. Now, I try to do life different, better, though I have a LONG way to go. I hope I am humble enough now to at least admit when I need help while seeking wisdom and knowledge. I don't want to repeat the same failures.

Look at this Proverb that speaks rather bluntly:

Proverbs 12:1New International Version (NIV)

12 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
    but whoever hates correction is stupid. 

There are tons of Proverbs that speak about wisdom, folly, instruction, etc. Much to be gained from that book of wisdom.

Here is another powerful quote about discipline from Darren Hardy, publisher of Success magazine:

Discipline is the key to success. Success is seldom found on the path of least resistance. Discipline is a skill; not talent. To live without discipline is to die without dignity.

Let's not be stupid today, or any day for that matter. But, when we do something that reveals our lack of discipline or "lapse in judgment," let's regroup, reevaluate, and get refocused on seeking Christ, building discipline, and enjoying the fruits of that pursuit God calls us to.

Is transformation possible without pain?

This is an article/interview with Paul Young, author of The Shack, called Is Transformation Possible Without Pain? http://wmpaulyoung.com/is-transformation-possible-without-pain/

God allows pain. God uses pain to heal us, teach us, humble us, and lead us to Himself. I have probably learned more about God through pain than anything else. Pain has come through heartache, betrayal, failure, fear, etc. When we see Christ more clearly, the pain starts to make sense and becomes clearer as well. Instead of feeling forsaken, we realize that we are never alone.

More Adultery Prevention Strategies

Walking in the fullness of who we are in Christ is the #1 way to prevent and heal from adultery. See a previous blog post. Hands down. There are additional ways to aid in prevention but can't be a substitute for the #1. They flow FROM the #1.

Here are a few...

* Learn (and apply) as early as possible and as quickly as possible that you MUST take responsibility for your mistakes. Blame shifting, denial, defensiveness, entitlement, etc. creates major problems, including the path of adultery.

* Teach your children/teenagers/adult children the same concept. Don't neglect to instill this in your children ASAP! If you haven't been, then start. Expect resistance. Lead by example. Hold them accountable. Be gracious but firm. Stick to it. It is a gift.

* Discipline lying, cheating, stealing, etc. swiftly, firmly, graciously in your children/teenagers.
Lying snowballs. It won't go away without effort. It compounds. Deal with it early on in your children's lives. Probe and ask good questions about what seems to be triggering it. Pray desperately for heart change and transformation by Christ Jesus. Lead by example. Love always.

* Save your No's. We grow up hearing hundreds of thousands of "No's." A lot of them are vitally important and needed. Our children need to hear no to things that are harmful to them, to others, that they aren't ready for, etc. However, as a parent, I am guilty of telling my children no just because I don't want to deal with something right then. At times, I will admit that my "No" may be more for my benefit than theirs. Therefore, I am learning from my wife and the Lord, that it's good to tell my children Yes to positive things. Yes, we can go play. Yes, I will hang out with you. Yes, let's go do that. Yes, let's eat. Yes, I love you very much. To name a few. I struggle to save my "No's" and pick my battles. I fear that my kids will grow up to be lazy, entitled, etc. so I react negatively, rather than pray for wisdom and let the process move slowly and purposefully. They hear No quite a bit. They hear wait quite a bit. They also need to hear yes quite a bit to things that are for their good and needed.

* Teach your children/teenager to save up/wait/delay gratification. Adultery is about instant gratification, giving in to the lie that something "feels good" or is deserved (falsely though), etc. It's about letting 'little sins" become big ones over time. Children who learn the value of saving up for something, setting healthy boundaries and goals with money, time, etc, and who learn to work hard for something and feel the positive benefit of doing it for themselves can prosper. Children who never have to wait on anything, who never have to work for something, who don't get taught how to work for something, etc. have an insecurity and emptiness in them that may be met in inappropriate/unhealthy ways, like adultery. Waiting to have sexual contact with someone until marriage is a good thing. Not giving in to pornography, smoking, drug, alcohol, etc. is a good thing. Having positive relationships that are balanced, lead to growth, etc. are a good thing.
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***Disclaimer - For some reason, I didn't grasp many of these concepts as a child or teenager or young adult. I was very stubborn and strong willed, but I was also very insecure and full of shame and lacked confidence. I was very vulnerable to adultery for many reasons. I am attempting to instill many of these values listed above in my children's lives, though I mess up often. Pray for your heart to be open to God's best. Pray for your children's. Fail forward. Grow daily. Be persistent. Enjoy the fruits of your labors, even if delayed.
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A Father's Prayer

As I read the book, The Way of the Wild at Heart, I realize that as a boy I missed some key truths about my Heavenly Father who sees me as His beloved Son. Jesus made this possible and accomplished this HUGE feat when He stepped out of Heaven and into human flesh. It's mind blowing really. Why do I resist it?

As I read Eldredge's book, I also realize how many moments I have with my own boys and girl, to make an impact on their lives. Some days I get it right; many others I miss it. I want them to see and experience more fully my delight in them and not question it. I want to instill discipline in them, but more importantly, I want them to have a sense of joy, delight, adventure, and freedom that flows from it. I have stifled this in them in more ways than I care to admit but thankfully way less since coming out of my darkness and life of secret sin. I have a lot to learn and grow into for sure. I am glad that God is still working on me and has not given up on me. How undeserved. How amazing.

John Eldredge is bringing to light not only my struggle and longing as a father but also my own as an "unfinished man." He concludes in chapter four (Raising the Beloved Son) with a father's prayer. It is powerful and can bring great healing. It is my prayer for myself and for father's who are longing to experience God as a loving father and walk as the beloved son we are in Him.

Father, I need to know that I am your son, and there is a place for me in your heart which no one else can fill. I need to experience your love. Raise the orphaned boy in me. Take me back to those places where I felt so missed, and show me that my heart matters to you. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear how you are raising the heart of the boy in me, raising me in belovedness even now. Heal and restore my soul as a son - as your Beloved Son. Give the grace to believe it.

And show me how to offer this to my son - what does he need with me at this time in his life? How might I have missed his heart? How can I come with love and delight now? Lead me, in Jesus' name.

The Six C's (My three and their cousins)

Who you gonna call?

 

This is a picture of the famous "Ghostbusters," of 1984. It came to my mind today when writing this post titled, "Who you gonna call?" I am not talking about ghosts, but if you have a "ghost" problem, then you know who to call.

 

I am talking about something a bit more serious: who are you going to call when you need Godly counsel, wisdom, accountability, encouragement, "sin prevention," advice, etc.? Do you have a GO TO person (or persons)? I hope so.

 

For YEARS, I had been told (and probably told others) how important Godly counsel and accountability were to the Christian walk. HOWEVER, I DIDN'T DO IT WELL. It caught up with me eventually, and the outcome was ugly, painful, destructive, and preventable.

 

God puts people in our lives and path for good reason. He made us for community and connection. We need others. They need us. IF we want to mature, grow, more effectively fight spiritual warfare, and band as Christian brothers and sisters. We aren't meant to go solo, be lone rangers, etc.

 

As a Christian brother who fell, I now have to put people in my life to walk this journey with me, even if by phone, text, etc. Since the "earthquake" of 2011 (my confession to Amy), I have had the privilege of talking with men who have encouraged me, consoled me, prayed for and with me, and more: Todd, Jim, Michael, Bob, Larry, Jonathan, Jason, Whit, Tee, Paul, Shane, Travis, Josh, Justin, and many others. I can call these guys and many others and hear an encouraging word from them.

 

Here are some questions you may have:

 

1. When do I call them? Some I talk to weekly. Some monthly or so. Some less. All are important and have different perspectives and insights. I have narrowed who I call down to a few, mainly due to life stage and flexibility options. Most of them I text, call or talk to at church.

 

2. What prompts me to call them? There are three main reasons I call - Vulnerability to sin/temptation, emotional/spiritual 'funk', or Wisdom/advice. When I am feeling weak or tempted (even if mostly in my head), I call someone, usually Larry. Evil thrives in darkness. Sin starts small and grows in the mind. The best way to detour this is to call and confess to someone. It works!! I also may call if I need advice or wisdom, or if I am feeling like I am stuck in an emotional/spiritual rut or pit. We've have some seriously dark, despair filled days since 2011. Letting someone pray with us or speak truth into us when our faith is weak is HUGE!

 

3. What do they say? Some say very little. Some share what God is doing in their life and how it may apply. Some ask probing questions. Some pray right there with me on the phone. Others listen and express care and sympathy. It really depends on each person and their insights. All are helpful. Sometimes I need a kick in the butt. Other times I need grace and soft approach.

 

A great book for men's accountability is by Dr. Mark Laaser called THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES OF HIGHLY ACCOUNTABLE MEN. A must read. A Christian based perspective AND professional counselor/pastoral perspective. And, from a man who has successfully stayed sober from his sex addiction for 25+ years.

 

So, who are you going to call? Do you have at least one person (preferably the same gender) that you can call? I suggest more than one since not everyone will be available when you need them. This is no light issue. Don't settle on this and neglect it. IT'S URGENT.

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Ephesians 5:8-17 (NIV)

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.

The Cure and Prevention for Adultery

After much recovery, healing, prayer and struggle, I have come to realize that there are lots of helpful books and resources geared toward personal/spiritual development and recovery. I am thankful for them. I need them. I learn so much from them. 

However, one thing that trumps them all is what Jesus has that none of us have fully and still struggle to grasp in every day life. Its the one thing that when we do embrace changes everything for us and transforms us. 

What Jesus has and longs to pass on to us, bestow upon us, fill us with, and see us take it and run with it into His loving arms and freedom is the greatest gift that we could ever receive and enjoy.

What is it that could prevent adultery and much heartache and help us all walk through this life more joyfully, more confidently, more boldly and less vulnerable to sin? 

It is this ... JESUS KNEW and KNOWS without any doubt that HE is the BELOVED SON of the FATHER. 

John Eldredge expresses this truth so well, "Do you know how the Father feels about you? Jesus did. He walked through the world knowing He was the Beloved Son, the favored one. It's what enabled Him to live as He did. This relationship was meant to be our secret, our joy too. We were meant to know this, too. First through our earthly fathers, and then by the extension of fatherhood, to our Father in the heavens. But few there are who came through their boyhood with such knowledge intact, without a trace of doubt " John Edlredge, The Way of the Wild at Heart. 

God publicly affirmed Jesus calling out His love for Jesus out loud, "This is My Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." Matthew 3:17. This was a launching point for Jesus' earthly ministry. 

One of the lies of adultery is FALSE AFFIRMATION. God's affirmation is real, and grounded in His perfect love. Not something we give back. He gives it even if we don't do so in return. 

Do you get that? Do I? Not fully. It blows my mind. It speaks directly to my longings, but shame and fear make it hard to accept, at least on many days. 

This is the only true cure for our brokenness. To live as sons and daughters of King Jesus, the first Beloved Son who have His life so that we may live fully alive. 

Every day we wake up we will need to hear this gospel message. The world and evil one will rob you of this joy and truth. Go "back to the well" and fill up each and every day, every hour. If you and I don't, then we will drift away or simply live life on fumes, not fullness. 

Have I Voided My Calling?

Happy 4th of July!! Christ has set us free! Millions of men and women have fought for our freedoms here in America. We are blessed in so many ways. 

This holiday triggers some thoughts for me: Did my sin of adultery nullify or void my calling or future ministry?  

I am still free and Christ's promises still hold true. However, since I blew it a few years ago, and I wrecked the ministry I was involved in, I often wonder what God will have me do as a result. Don't get me wrong, I am blessed and have been given a second chance in my marriage, my family, my walk with Christ. He has used our story to help others. I can share the gospel anywhere, even while doing electrical work. Despite all of that, I still have a longing to do more and share more. What does God have to say about that? What are His plans?

I know I am forgiven. I know God can use the mess up to do something good. I also know that in Scripture, sometimes God required His wayward people to not experience His full blessings due to sin and unbelief. At other times He restored them and they were able to do more and more in His name. Regardless, God's grace and mercy WAS ALWAYS PRESENT. HE NEVER STOPPED LOVING HIS PEOPLE.

Some Examples of God's People Being Excluded from Experiencing More (Despite His grace and mercy)

Adam and Eve sinned and were removed from the garden (Genesis 3)

Moses never got to see or experience the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 32-33)

Many of the Israelites never got to see the Promised Land and wandered in the desert for 40 years (Numbers 32)

David didn't get to build the new Temple (2 Samuel 7, 1 Chronicles 22)

Israelites would be in exile for 70 years before the promises of God were fulfilled to them through Jeremiah (Jeremiah 29:10-14)

Some Examples of God's People Still Being Able to Experience Ministry Opportunities Despite Their Sin

Jonah ran from God but was later obedient and shared a message of repentance to an evil nation who repented (Jonah)

Saul, later named Paul, who crucified Christians, was called by God and wrote a majority of the New Testament (Acts 9)

Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, denied even knowing Jesus but was later restored and led thousands to Christ through His preaching and the Holy Spirit's raining down through him (John 21, Acts 2)

I don't know what all God has planned for Amy and me regarding ministry, vocation, career, etc, but I do know this...

1. He has showered us with His grace and mercy FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. We have experienced Christ Jesus in powerful, real ways despite the intense struggle and pain.

2. God is faithful, even when we are faithless (2 Timothy 2:13). If God wants His people to suffer the full consequences of their sin and be taken out of this world, excluded, punished, etc. then in love He will do that. If God wants to restore them and do even greater things despite their sin, in love He will do that. His ways are higher than ours. He knows what is best and His will is going to be done. He will never deny Himself or His own promises, even if we screw up. I want to be found faithful from here on out, but I know I am incapable on my own.

3. As Christ followers, we all are called to "preach." Our lives are meant to reflect His Light, His Life, and His truth, even after we mess up and sin in big ways. He saved us and calls us to daily repentance, power, and hope to a dark world. I don't have to work in a church or ministry to do ministry. My main ministry starts at my house with my family. Then from there I am called to be a Light where ever I find myself: privately and publicly.

God may choose to allow Amy and I to have an established "ministry" or He may not. Regardless, He is good, faithful, and has done far more than we have deserved. He is the hero of our story. May we give Him the praise and glory, even when we are uncertain about what to do next. We pray He will do far more than we could ever think or imagine!!!

A Betrayal of Love

I received this email today and wanted to pass it on. It is powerful stuff. John Eldredge is one of my favorite authors. He speaks in ways I can process. He has insights that I admire. As my friend Brian Presson used to say, "God saved us in our worst 5 minutes." This daily reading by Eldredge speaks right in to that for sure. God is gracious, even when we were/are at our worst. Wow. He is faithful, even when are faithless.


A Betrayal of Love

Can you imagine if on your honeymoon one of you sneaked off for a rendezvous with a perfect stranger? Adam and Eve kicked off the honeymoon by sleeping with the Enemy. Then comes one of the most poignant verses in all Scripture: "What is this you have done?" (Gen. 3:13). You can almost hear the shock, the pain of betrayal in God's voice. The fall of Adam and Eve mustn't be pictured as a crime like theft, but as a betrayal of love. In love God creates us for love, and we give him the back of our hand. Why? Satan gets us to side with him by sowing the seed of doubt in our first parents' minds: "God's heart really isn't good. He's holding out on you. You've got to take things into your own hands." And Paradise was lost.

Yet there was something about the heart of God that the angels and our first parents had not yet seen. Here, at the lowest point in our relationship, God announces his intention never to abandon us but to seek us out and win us back. "I will come for you." Grace introduces a new element of God's heart. Up till this point we knew he was rich, famous, influential, even generous. Behind all that can still hide a heart that is less than good. Grace removes all doubt.

An exert from the book, The Sacred Romance, by John Eldredge

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Sin is Subtle/Sneaky

Sin never "just happens." There are some obvious sins that we all see and can clearly avoid. But in most cases, even those "big" sins didn't start out big, at least not always. They are like weeds; they start out small, but one day you wake up and your whole flower bed or yard is full of them. Sin can be very subtle (cunning, wily, or crafty) or sneaky like that.

Sin can sneak its way into our lives if we don't squash it early, while it's small and less powerful. Things like undisciplined eating, bad habits, lustful thoughts, interactions with others, and other temptations we face that can "trip us up."Once these things become comfortable, familiar, or ingrained, they can fly under our radar and don't get as noticeable. What used to send up red flags, now gets overlooked due to "2nd nature" type habits. We may notice them and think, "I should get this under control before things get out of hand." At times we heed the warnings and prompting by the Holy Spirit; other times we don't.

This is when transparency, accountability, personal development, prayer, and living in close, Christian community are crucial elements of our walk with Christ and others. Even then it's not "fool proof," but these can make a significant difference in avoiding disaster.

James 1:12-18 (NASB) gives some clear warnings and insights into sin and temptation:

¹² Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has ^[m]been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. ¹³ Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted ^[n]by God”; for God cannot be tempted ^[o]by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. ¹⁴ But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. ¹⁵ Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin ^[p]is accomplished, it brings forth death. ¹⁶ Do not be ^[q]deceived, my beloved brethren. ¹⁷ Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or ^[r]shifting shadow. ¹⁸ In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be ^[s]a kind of first fruits ^[t]among His creatures.

Sin can be sneaky and subtle, but the good news is we have been given power by the Holy Spirit to fight it. Our purity and strength and "Godly habits" are also subtle. We can do a little bit every day to prune the habits, behaviors, and thoughts that trip us up if allowed to grow and take root. The longer we wait to deal with these things, the harder it becomes to undo or change them. Trust me, I know. I am still, at the age of 40, working on issues that should have been dealt with in my college days.

What subtle, small habits, thoughts, actions, etc. do you know notice in your life that are in the early stages of development? Are they leading you to better growth and maturity, or leading you toward disaster? Pray for wisdom and keep the ones that are obedient to Christ, and pray for the courage and strength to change the ones that are leading you away from faithfulness.

What "deep rooted" actions, thoughts, beliefs, actions have you noticed that may need an over haul and intervention that are causing you problems? Are you willing to get help? How much longer will you wait before deciding it's time to change and let others help get you healing and freedom?

What Am I Passing Down?

As I listened to a sermon today at Elevation Church, pastor Steven Furtik said a powerful statement about what we pass down to our children (and more) with our hatred, racism, un-Biblical views, etc. He said:

What doesn't get healed, gets handed down.

What "baggage" am I passing down to my children with my wounds? Am I passing down dishonoring beliefs, actions, philosophies, views, etc due to my unwillingness to let God transform my mind and heart?

I pray that I seek Christ with my WHOLE heart and not just parts of it. I want FULL healing and redemption and restoration, not partial healing.

My new goal in life: END ADULTERY. Not just with me, but in my children and their children and any other person who is willing. God is the hero of our story. He is longing for His people to surrender to His goodness, to His will, to His heart and ways.

The 40 Year Old Ninja

This video (see below) was a random, spur of the moment incident at camp last week that we happened to catch on video. Before we decided to video it, I attempted to kick the fan pull cord numerous times without success. Please don't ask me why I had such a thought. Who knows?!

Like I said, it was random. I was in a crazy mood that day no doubt. Well, we decided to video it, and boy are we glad we did. On the first attempt, I kicked the cord. Strangely enough, I turned off the light with my foot!! One video take! It's real, I promise. I doubt I could have done it a second time for sure! It's quite hilarious. One for the memory book!

Click the link below: 
The 40 Year Old Ninja!

You don't get to see me falling to the ground and the endless laughter that followed! Enjoy. :)

Camp "Version" of Me

Just got back from a week of Centri-Kid camp with our church. There were 6 boys, including my son Collin, and 11 or so girls, and 5 or 6 adults in our group. There were nearly 400 total kids and adults at the camp I believe. It was at Timber Creek in Pulaski, MS. Awesome venue. Awesome camp. Lots of fun.

Being outdoors in the heat at camp brings a whole new appreciation in life. Our culture of kids in most places here have to be forced to go outside and play, unplugging from electronics. My generation had to be told to come in the house. What a change. It's not all bad, since both extremes can create issues, but I believe places like Timber Creek do a great job giving kids an outdoor experience in a fun, God-focused way. Centri-Kid camps bring a Jesus focused message that brings it all together.


As what usually happens at camp, I had a blast and came out of my "shell." Hence the "40 year old ninja" video and other crazy stuff Jason, Alex and myself came up with. We laughed so hard. Maybe I will post the video later. Anyways, I am grateful that I can still have fun at camp and be goofy with kids and adults. The Lord knew I needed that after the past four years, AND especially the last few difficult months. I have been a lot of things over the past few months, but fun and goofy not so much.

My goal at camp is usually to make kids smile, laugh, and lighten up. The only way I can do that is to lighten up myself. At work, I am usually up tight. At home I can get too focused on my to do list and trying to figure out how to lead my family well. Honestly, as I think about it, the kids HELP ME lighten up and have fun. They are great. It is such a fun place to be and enjoy life, even if for only a week. It is a memory to treasure for sure.

There are two lingering questions that always come up with me while at camp and vacation:


1. WHY CAN'T I BE MORE LIKE THIS WHEN I AM NOT AT CAMP (or vacation)?

2. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE TO MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE'S LIVES THAT POINTS THEM TO CHRIST? AM I FULFILLING THE PURPOSE AND MINISTRY THAT GOD IS CALLING ME TO (or just working to pay bills)?


At camp, I feel like I am my "best self," or at least a whole lot closer to it. I sometimes feel like a different person when at camp. I loosen up, act silly, encourage others, have fun, and stress a whole lot less. I want to be more like this while at home and work. Well, I may need to tone it down a bit since I will mostly be around adults. :) However, I want my kids to see a lighter side of me more often. I still have to lead, discipline, etc, but it can be balanced better for sure.

I don't want to be too hard on myself, though. I am grateful that after four years of struggle, healing, restoration, and re-focusing, God still has given me a desire to go to camp, do ministry and help couples find hope for their marriage. After what I did, it is a miracle I still get the chance to make a positive difference in other people's lives, even if it is only at camp once a year.

The truth is, I have had lots of chances to share a message of failure, hope, loss, sin, and redemption. I pray that God uses our story to help someone else run to Christ and not give in to the lies of the evil one. Our church has been very gracious in allowing us to share with others, so Amy and I are praying that we will be faithful to share whenever God allows. I want our message to be Christ focused, clear, effective, and helpful to others. With some focused effort, I can be more like the "camp version of me,"rather than just once a year at camp or while on vacation. 

I believe there are a few practical ways I and maybe you can do this:

1. Re live the experience often. Look at pictures. Watch the videos, etc. Be reminded of God's faithfulness to show up and speak to us all.

2. Stop focusing on me, my failure, etc. Instead, I want to focus on ways to help others, pursue Christ, serve others, encourage others, etc. God is at work. He can enable me to make a positive difference if I will allow Him.


3. Live with purpose.God has equipped me and you with certain gifts and abilities. I want to use them often. Through prayer, journal writing, scripture reading, etc. I can get more in tune to what God is leading me to. I need to trust His timing. I want to be ready for what He has for me, even if it takes longer than I prefer.

4. Surround myself with positive people. What makes camp so much fun is the people and focus while there. The leaders, campers, and chaperone's are there for the same reason: to study about Jesus and have fun. When I am not at camp, I need to find people who are living more like I need and want to live. I often find myself around people who are draining. I need to do a better job spending time with the people who are uplifting, seeking Christ, and living out a life of purpose and calling.

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Jeremiah 29:10-14The Message (MSG)

^10-11 This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

¹² “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.

^13-14 “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.
“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.

“I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—“bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.

One more thought on wishful thinking.

As I read Waking the Dead by John Eldredge, I am reminded that many of us struggle with hope vs wishful thinking because we don't realize OR we under estimate the significance of spiritual warfare  John 10:10 is Jesus saying that He came to give life but the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. It is a war. A battle. Jesus is not passive. He is fighting for us. The victory will come but ithe fight still going on. 

We may be struggling because we are hoping for things to be easy. Or easier. Well, we have no idea how many times Gd has intervened for us and how much harder it could be. Pain and suffering are real. I am not denying this fact. I am just reminded that we have a great high priest who is fighting for us. We are not alone. The battle is waging and out Savior is fighting with us and for us. 

As Jim Rohn said, "Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better, stronger."  

Get the book by John Eldredge. 

Go to the book of John in the Bible. 

Don't go solo. 

Hope or Wishful Thinking?

Do you ever wonder if you are living with a real hope and faith or just wishful thinking? I imagine many people do but don't like to admit it. It exposes things in each of us that is painful. 

When my emotions are negative and my circumstances are less than desirable, the question tends to arise. As a Christ follower, I have to battle against the lies of despair. Some days my faith is strong but other days it feels very weak. On weak days, I get a brief thought in my head that says, "You don't have faith. You are an imposter. You are just wishful thinking. All this hard work and spiritual/personal development is not doing any good."

It's a lie though. In Christ I can claim so many promises. In Him I am: Victorious. Free. A son. Adopted. Power in the spirit. Redeemed. Chosen. Forgiven. A purpose. A calling. A great high priest to run to. A intercession who prays for me. A future. A hope in the present. And much more. 

So how do you know if you are living in belief and true hope and not just wishful thinking? I don't know 100% but here's what I know. 

1. As a Christ follower the Bible is full of promises and truths. If you are reading them and being reminded of them then you can know if you are on track. The world has lots of false promises. The bible has proven the test of time. 

2. Your circumstances and emotions are not a good measure of hope and faith. Emotions are good indicators of a personal or spiritual process going on in you. Your situation can look very bleak and negative but that doesn't mean God is not at work. He  allows suffering. We don't always know why but He is unchanged by them. He is the same always. Trust His heart and goodness. Not circumstances - whether good or bad. Circumstances may be the result of your sin and neglect/drifting. Don't blame God for that. Ask Him and others to help you get back on track. Don't put yourself in a position to require a bail out or miracle. God may bail you out but He may not. He will, however, walk with you and never forsake you. Your sin doesn't void out His promises. It may take you on a detour of pruning but it is still a display of His grace. 

3. Keep showing up. Some things we need to give up, but many of us give up too soon On good things. We don't persevere. We quit when it gets hard. 

It is best to focus on daily obedience and faithfulness. Try not to focus just on results and "what ifs."  We can't always control the outcomes. We can control a lot of our actions, though. Our daily choices either move us closer to God or away. Our actions ether produce eventual success or more failure. We can fail forward and keep growing but it takes work and determination. 

4. Get a mentor. Someone you invite into your inner world to pray with and for you, listen to your situation and ask you critcal questions that help you work out issues that are hindering your growth. Call on them regularly so you don't drift toward isolation. They can help remind you of your goals, Gods promises and other wisdom. 

There are two phrases and prayers that have carried me through hard times: both are from the Bible. 

A. Daily Bread. 

B. "I believe. Help my unbelief."

Does this help? Have other suggestions? I would love to hear them. 

Happy Father's Day 2015

It's father's day. It has been a long time since I blogged. Amy started back blogging this week. I got inspired to do the same.

As I (we) look back over the past four years (come August 26, 2015), we have seen the hand of God and Christ's power in so many ways. I will admit that we have some days that tested us in a HUGE way. We nearly gave in to despair, hopelessness, and fear. God has continually given us restored hope through our friends, answered prayers, and powerful reminders of His promises that don't depend on our emotions or circumstances.

God is good. I am blessed with an amazing family. Happy Father's Day!

2 Timothy 2:13New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹³ If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.