More Adultery Prevention Strategies

Walking in the fullness of who we are in Christ is the #1 way to prevent and heal from adultery. See a previous blog post. Hands down. There are additional ways to aid in prevention but can't be a substitute for the #1. They flow FROM the #1.

Here are a few...

* Learn (and apply) as early as possible and as quickly as possible that you MUST take responsibility for your mistakes. Blame shifting, denial, defensiveness, entitlement, etc. creates major problems, including the path of adultery.

* Teach your children/teenagers/adult children the same concept. Don't neglect to instill this in your children ASAP! If you haven't been, then start. Expect resistance. Lead by example. Hold them accountable. Be gracious but firm. Stick to it. It is a gift.

* Discipline lying, cheating, stealing, etc. swiftly, firmly, graciously in your children/teenagers.
Lying snowballs. It won't go away without effort. It compounds. Deal with it early on in your children's lives. Probe and ask good questions about what seems to be triggering it. Pray desperately for heart change and transformation by Christ Jesus. Lead by example. Love always.

* Save your No's. We grow up hearing hundreds of thousands of "No's." A lot of them are vitally important and needed. Our children need to hear no to things that are harmful to them, to others, that they aren't ready for, etc. However, as a parent, I am guilty of telling my children no just because I don't want to deal with something right then. At times, I will admit that my "No" may be more for my benefit than theirs. Therefore, I am learning from my wife and the Lord, that it's good to tell my children Yes to positive things. Yes, we can go play. Yes, I will hang out with you. Yes, let's go do that. Yes, let's eat. Yes, I love you very much. To name a few. I struggle to save my "No's" and pick my battles. I fear that my kids will grow up to be lazy, entitled, etc. so I react negatively, rather than pray for wisdom and let the process move slowly and purposefully. They hear No quite a bit. They hear wait quite a bit. They also need to hear yes quite a bit to things that are for their good and needed.

* Teach your children/teenager to save up/wait/delay gratification. Adultery is about instant gratification, giving in to the lie that something "feels good" or is deserved (falsely though), etc. It's about letting 'little sins" become big ones over time. Children who learn the value of saving up for something, setting healthy boundaries and goals with money, time, etc, and who learn to work hard for something and feel the positive benefit of doing it for themselves can prosper. Children who never have to wait on anything, who never have to work for something, who don't get taught how to work for something, etc. have an insecurity and emptiness in them that may be met in inappropriate/unhealthy ways, like adultery. Waiting to have sexual contact with someone until marriage is a good thing. Not giving in to pornography, smoking, drug, alcohol, etc. is a good thing. Having positive relationships that are balanced, lead to growth, etc. are a good thing.
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***Disclaimer - For some reason, I didn't grasp many of these concepts as a child or teenager or young adult. I was very stubborn and strong willed, but I was also very insecure and full of shame and lacked confidence. I was very vulnerable to adultery for many reasons. I am attempting to instill many of these values listed above in my children's lives, though I mess up often. Pray for your heart to be open to God's best. Pray for your children's. Fail forward. Grow daily. Be persistent. Enjoy the fruits of your labors, even if delayed.
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