2017 WORD / Focus

For the past couple of years, Amy and I have prayed for God to give us each a word or two that reflects His desire/focus for us based on a specific Bible verse. Every year God seems to show up and make it clear to each of us what He wants to teach us and have us meditate on. Last year my word or phrase was THINK BIG. Amy's was BELIEVE.

My key verse was Ephesians 3:20 - God is able to do abundantly MORE than we think or imagine (paraphrase). I would say God did some BIG things last year:

• We sold our house in Mississippi
• Moved to Florida (over 700 miles away from Mississippi)
• Went back into full time ministry 
• Only 5.5 months later left that ministry position - step of faith with a lot of confusion, sadness, and disappointment. BUT a peace from God.
• Quickly were blessed by people who barely know us
• Was given a church job (2 month full time temporary) right smack dab in the middle of a busy Christmas season by a family who reached out to us in our time of need
• Amy published her first book!!
• We were blessed to find Keswick Christian school for our children and us. And family has helped us pay for it. 
• So many blessings (even not listed here)!

 Those are BIG things, but the crazy thing is, God isn't done yet. I still can't believe how good God is - He never stops amazing me. I sure don't feel deserving but my gratitude and prayer life have gone way up!!

This year's focus SEEMS TO BE coming to my mind repeatedly. I am hoping it sticks but am open to whatever God has to say. Obviously, when God gives us a focus, it doesn't mean we neglect other commands. This one I feel God telling me to focus on is something that is very much a part of my passion and drive. I believe God is telling me to stop focusing on trying to resolve my biggest hurdles (money and career) and to SERVE WELL.

I want to do what Jesus said to do in Mark 10:43-45... 

⁴³ Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, ⁴⁴ and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. ⁴⁵ For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

If the creator of the universe came to SERVE, then I need to do the same. He humbled Himself to the role of servant and wasn't concerned about his status, power, position, or prestige. As leaders, we don't need to get caught up in the position we are in or neglect to serve others. To lead like Jesus is to serve well.

I feel very strongly about this focus for the year. It will improve my attitude, work ethic, focus at work, focus at home, and outreach to strangers I meet. To serve others is to demonstrate humility, compassion, grace, mercy, kindness, encouragement, and keep the needs of others in mind as I go about my daily tasks. It will mean I clean, sweep, organize, help others, and do whatever else needs to be done at home and work and everywhere in between, "as unto the Lord." Jesus is ultimately my boss. When I work for Him, then my work takes on bigger and better meaning, even if the tasks seem "menial" or less than my capabilities. 

What is the word or phrase God is putting on your mind for 2017? Take some time to pray and listen. God will bring to mind Bible verses over and over that will help you realize His wishes for you. Let Him "prune" and mature you wherever needed. Let Him bless you in ways you don't feel deserving but deep down want (even if are afraid to ask for). Open your heart to His love, His friendship, His discipline, and His grace and mercy. Seek Him first and then all the other things you long for will begin to become clearer and more of a reality.

Be amazed by the God who made you and created you for oneness and fellowship with Himself. 

What I DO Know

Lately, we have experienced quite a bit of "change" and transition. Actually, this whole year (and even beyond) has been a year of change and transition. Most of it is normal stuff, but some of it, though common, isn't as "easy" or fun in the moment, like leaving a job after 5.5 months after moving over 700 miles. And that was three weeks before Christmas. Had it not been for the school we were in here in Florida, and some really amazing people God put in our life, we would probably feel a bit lost.

I don't know a lot of things, particularly how things are going to work out regarding our financial outlook and our ministry/career, but here is what I DO know: God has been at work in us and around us, and it is really amazing and humbling to be involved in it.

Here are a just a few of the blessings we have experienced in the past two and a half weeks:

• Amy's book got published and people are supporting it so well!
• Amy and I STILL CONTINUE to feel a calling and burden to help couples and families walk through the struggles of life, pointing them to a loving, gracious, redemptive God. 
• I have a new job at another church for at least two months, full-time/temporary and have been able to meet some incredible people and see what God is up to there. 
• Friends and family have reached out to us to support us, encourage us, and bless us
• Our children have been able to have new experiences here in Florida, such as fishing and Busch Gardens, all because of the kindness of friends and family
• God has given us His peace, despite the temptation to give in to fear of the unknown, particularly about facing an uncertain financial future and being able to pay bills, etc. 
• Amy and I are closer than ever and will celebrate 20 years of marriage next summer!
• We are healthy, and seeking to be close as a family, even with our first teenager! That's been a roller coaster ride but such a blessing. 
• My prayer life is my life line to Jesus. I desperately need and want to keep an open fellowship with Jesus all day, not just for requests, but a friendship. 
• I have men in my life that I can call/text at anytime who will encourage me, confront me, pray with and for me, and vice versa.

God is very good. I have to daily fight the temptation to fear or give in to the things of this world in order to "numb" the pain of unbelief. However, despite the struggles and difficulties (many being "1st world" problems I caused), I know for SURE that God is faithful (Hebrews 13:5, 2 Timothy 2:13) and is for me/you (Romans 8:31). As Christ followers, we are in a spiritual war that will not cease just because we ignore it or fail to see it. Ephesians 6:10-13 and following makes this very clear:  

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Gratitude, confession, prayer, and knowing, believing, and living God's truth - these are powerful weapons in this fight we face each day. We can't do it alone. Jesus said He didn't do it alone - He relied fully on His Father in Heaven (John 5:19). We have the gift of the Holy Spirit and fellowship with God through Christ - we are fully equipped by Him to do the work He has called us to (Hebrews 13:20-21).

Will you, will I rely on that power (aka "vine," John 15) and thrive (even during trials and difficulties) or give in to our flesh and self-reliance, only the crash and burn at some point? It's a daily choice of surrender and empowerment to make. I pray that we make it, fully trusting in Jesus. And on the days we don't, I pray we run to Him, allowing His grace and mercy to redeem us, restore us, and fill us back up, so we can rejoin the fight for good, His good.
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Hebrews 4:14-16 - Jesus the Great High Priest

¹⁴ Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,^[f] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Did Jesus live 30+ years without the Holy Spirit?

I am going to post about something that I don't have much insight on, but the thought struck me as I was reading tonight. I have been reading (very slowly) the book Adopted for Life, by Russel Moore. It's a great read and deep theologically, spiritually, and about the power of adoption in Christ and with children here on Earth. I read just a few sentences tonight (12/15/16), and a statement he wrote caught my attention and prompted this blog post.

When the "flesh" can't produce a deliverer for the human race, the Spirit overshadows a virgin's uterus and conceives a new humanity (Luke 1:35). The Spirit descends on Jesus at his baptism, as God's voice proclaims his acceptance of his "beloved Son" (Matt. 3:17).

Did you catch that? It "appears" that the Spirit (the Holy Spirit) did not descend onto/into Jesus UNTIL HIS BAPTISM. If true (remember, I am not proclaiming this to be 100% true though it seems according to the Bible to be so), does that not strike you as both very interesting and amazing? That means, if Jesus was somewhere in his late 20's to mid/late 30's when He was baptized by John (roughly 29 A.D.; not 100% sure), that He lived his first years on Earth without the power of the Holy Spirit - in Him. The Bible says that Jesus was "without sin" (2 Corinthians 5:21, Hebrews 4:15, 1 John 3:5, Isaiah 53:9, 1 Peter 1:18-19). SO, if He lived through his childhood, teen years, and early adult years without the power of the HS and was still without sin, isn't that remarkable?! It was a miraculous occurrence that Jesus lived as a teenager and did not sin!!! 

He wasn't just "God." He was fully man as well, and stepped out of Heaven and into flesh and blood, taking on the role of a servant, and lived a sinless life, in perfect obedience to His Father in Heaven (Philippians 2, Mark 10:35-45). And, if this is true, He did it the first 20+ years of His life through prayer and seeking His Father's will and not with the power of the Holy Spirit. He even said that the Holy Spirit would come only after He ascended into Heaven (John 16, Acts 2):

And this was his John the Baptist message: After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit. At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased. At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him. - Mark 1:7-13, NIV

So what's the point? Well, I don't know fully, but here is what I know:

• Jesus lived a perfect life and was the ultimate, final, perfect, spotless sacrifice for us. He who knew no sin became sin so that death would no longer be victorious over us; and we could be reunited with our Heavenly Father through Him (John 17:3 - eternal life). 

• It appears that Jesus lived most of His sinless life without the power of the HS but relied on prayer and His relationship with His Heavenly Father (John 5:19).

THEREFORE, if we have been united with Christ and fully trust in Him for life abundantly, here on Earth (John 10:10), and forever in Heaven, and we have been given the HS upon our profession of faith (Ephesians  1:13), then what excuse do we have as true believers and followers of Christ? We have been given the Holy Spirit to teach us, correct us, guide us, remind us, strengthen us, and help us live in union and obedience to Christ (John 14:15-17, 26; Romans 8:26; Galatians 5:22-23, 1 Corinthians 6:19).

Are you walking in the Spirit or trying to live according to the flesh? If like me, you are struggling to live fully in the power of the Holy Spirit. I get caught up in my own pride, fear, shame, regret, and impatience and forget that the Holy Spirit lives in me. I blow it often. I am reminded that I can't do it apart from Christ, and Christ is very gracious and patient with my "maturing process," even when it seems I am very slow to "get it." The Apostle Paul even struggled with doing what was right and good (See Romans 7:14-21, 8:1).

Got marriage struggles? Ask the Spirit to help.
Got money problems? Ask the Spirit to help.
Stressed, depressed, and restless? Ask the Spirit to help.
Fearful, anxious? Ask the Spirit to help.
Tempted to sin? Ask the Spirit to help.
Needing wisdom? Ask the Spirit to help.

Whatever you are feeling or facing, the Spirit is available 24/7. Wow, I need this reminder every minute of every day...especially when parenting my first teenager. I have really gotten off track lately with trying to be a good father to a new teenager. Forgive me son for failing so often.

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Ephesians 1:13
¹³ And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,

A lesson learned from Buddy the Elf...

That is a hilarious movie. Buddy the Elf didn't filter his disgust in the "fake" Santa. He knew the real Santa and wanted everyone to know that this guy, who smelled like "beef and cheese" was an imposter and needed to be exposed for who he really is. How many of us are willing to do the same thing when it comes to other people being "fake?" How many times have you and I been confronted when our behaviors and attitude didn't line up with the Bible and Christianity? Not too often, unless you have children and teenagers.

My teenager this morning called me out. I was stressed a bit about getting everyone to school (and Amy who was substituting) on time. We were stuck at a red light for at least 10 minutes. I was complaining and finally my son had heard enough. He said something like, "Dad, it's fine. We don't have to be there until 7:50." I paraphrase, but he was clearly tired of hearing it, but calmly called me out. I agreed and chilled.

I would guess that many of us, including myself, struggle to confront sin and hypocrisy. I'm not sure why, because Jesus did it quite often. It's hard to be called out, and it's hard to call others out. But, when it is done in love and boldness with the intent of holding someone accountable to their Christian walk and maturity (and strengthen your relationship with them), then it is beneficial, even if the other person doesn't change right away. Jesus didn't shy away from telling the "super religious" how wrong they were. He even called them "white washed tombstones." Ouch, that doesn't sound like a nice thing to say, right? But, He called them out and gave them an opportunity to repent and walk in His truth. They declined and wanted Him dead.

Hypocrite; poser; "fake;" living on a "throne of lies;" actor, pretender; two-faced. These are all strong words that often unchurched/unbelievers use when referring to Christians. Sadly, there are a lot of hypocrites in the church, but truthfully, we are all hypocrites to some degree. Obviously, some people are very private and secretive, and unwilling to let others see their weaknesses/struggles/true self. It's one thing to be an introvert and a private person, but it's a whole different issue (hypocrisy) when we act or proclaim to be a certain way but in reality be quite the opposite. If I am one person publicly and someone very different privately (and never admit/confess this), then I am being a hypocrite.

The Strong's Concordance describes hypocrisy as such: 
hupokrités: one who answers, an actor, a hypocrite
Original Word: ὑποκριτής, οῦ, ὁ
Part of Speech: Noun, Masculine
Transliteration: hupokrités
Phonetic Spelling: (hoop-ok-ree-tace')
Short Definition: a hypocrite, dissembler
Definition: (lit: a stage-player), a hypocrite, dissembler, pretender.

5273 hypokritḗs (a masculine noun derived from 5259 /hypó, "under" and 2919 /krínō, "judge") – properly, a judging under, like a performer acting under a mask (i.e. a theater-actor); (figuratively) a two-faced person; a "hypocrite," whose profession does not match their practice – i.e. someone who "says one thing but does another."

[5273 (hypokritḗs) was commonly used of actors on the Greek stage. When applied in the NT, it refers to a hypocrite.

"Christianity requires that believers should be open and above-board. They should be themselves. Their lives should be like an open book, easily read" (K. Wuest, Word Studies, Vol 2, Pastoral Epistles, 1 Peter, 50,51).]

When I was living in major sin, I was confronted at least twice by church members, and several times by Amy. I lied often. I regret that, but I have such admiration for those who had the courage to stand up for what was right and call me out on my "throne of lies." I stunk, but didn't smell like beef and cheese. I smelled like sin and betrayal. UGLY!!! Thank God for exposing it and using it to humble me, and redeem me to Himself, my family, my church, and my friends. 

Are you a hypocrite? Am I? The answer is YES but hopefully our heart's desire is to be free from it, repent daily, and do our best to be transparent, real, open, honest, and walk in the Light and truth of Jesus Christ. It's hard to be transparent and let other people see your "warts and all." However, it is freeing and the best way to live. If I grow in my faith, and in the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, goodness, and faithfulness (Galatians 5) of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, then I am doing as God intended. He said to abide in Him, and I will bear much spiritual fruit (John 15). Amen to that, and thank you God for Jesus not only being the perfect example, but letting me "live, and move and have my being in Him," incapable of doing anything God honoring apart from Him. He's my rock, my fortress, my help in time of need.

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John 15, New International Version (NIV)

The Vine and the Branches

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Light vs. Darkness

<sup>Before I got busted in 2011 with my secret sin, I feared exposure. My last few months on staff at FBC Clinton were rough. I was doing damage control and lying to whoever got close to me and confronted me. I knew I needed to confess and face the consequences of my actions, but I held on to the lie as long as possible. The longer the lie went on, the greater the damage I caused. 

I wish I would have trusted Christ enough BEFORE going down the path of sin. I also wish I would have taken to heart these verses in Ephesians 5...</sup>

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

There are two key words here, at least regarding this post: darkness and light. For way too long, I chose to walk in darkness. Now, learning to live in the Light is a daily choice, that doesn't always come easy. However, it is worth it when I trust Christ to use it for my good, to encourage others, and to bring glory to His name. I am less hindered by sin and shame and self-pity when I live in a state of confession and repentance (i.e. walk in the light). 

I also notice when others are walking in "darkness." I see some of the same type of "damage control" that I lived for far too long. People acting like this don't realize how obvious it really is. It's foolish for us to think we can hide our sin. The truth will come out eventually, but until it does, it "oozes" out in our spirit, countenance, actions, secrets, attitude, etc. The "stinch" of living in darkness is the opposite of the "fragrance of the aroma of Christ." 

The word for darkness in this Bible passage of Ephesians 5 is "skotos," which refers to "moral darkness, the absence of spiritual light and truth, including the idea of sinfulness and consequent calamity." It also says in the NT dictionary that it speaks "of persons in a state of moral darkness, wicked men under the influence of Satan." I can attest to this truth. I was miserable in my sin and anytime I feared it would be brought into the light, I was paranoid, fearful, angry, and desperate to keep it a secret. 

The word for light in this Bible passage is "phos" or "phao" according to the NT dictionary. It means to "shine or make manifest; luminate." It is clearly opposite of darkness and refers to "moral and spiritual light and knowledge which enlightens the mind, soul or conscience, including the idea of moral goodness, purity and holiness, and of consequent reward and happiness; a true knowledge of God and spiritual things." When living in darkness, there is no happiness, purity, holiness, and there is little focus on "spiritual" things. There is more sin, paranoia, hatred, jealousy, and all sorts of issues. When living in the light of Christ, peace, joy, and the other "fruit" of the Spirit grows and develops.

Galatians 5 says it very well...

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

These verses remind me of two key truths:

1. I want to live in the light and never be "slave" to the darkness of secret sin ever again. As Al told me on the day of my resignation in 2011, "Scotty, sin sucks like Hell but God is good." Amen to that!
2. I do not have to bullied or hindered by people who refuse to walk in the light and according to the fruit of the Spirit. That is their choice to live with. I want to choose light over darkness. Lies and evil thrive in secrecy. People who are not willing to walk in the light and be open about their struggles, sin, etc. are living out Galatians 5:19-21. They will threaten, lie, bully, manipulate, coerce, bribe, and wreak havoc on themselves and others who threaten to expose them. I know. I did it for a long time!!! I am not judging or seeking to "gossip" as those who walk in the darkness proclaim. I am having the courage and willingness to call it what it is... darkness, sin, and destruction. God's word is clear on this...these are not my words.

God works in the light. Evil grows in secrecy. I have lived out both of these, and living in the light, as much as possible, even when uncomfortable or criticized, is more freeing, more honoring to the Lord, and allows for healing and more victory over sin. 

Behind closed doors, at any given time, especially when stressed, I struggle not to...

• Lecture my children and respond impatiently (especially my teenager)
• Worry about how I am going to provide for my family, and not feel like a failure
• Lust and become distracted by things of this world
• Be irritable or moody when the house is not somewhat in order and it feels chaotic
• Want to get rid of all electronic devices in our home when the peace in the home is gone and children are coming across as disrespectful or ungrateful 

These are just a few of my "issues." If I had them all figured out, then I wouldn't need Jesus. I don't like the struggles with money, family, career, relationships, but I am thankful. These situations keep me humble and remind me of the words in 1 Peter 5:7 about Jesus, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Jesus also said, "...apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).

Are you walking in the light or the darkness? Read Galatians and Ephesians again and the answer will be clear. You know the truth, even before reading those Bible verses, but reading them has a way of hitting you "right between the eyes." When God's word says something so clearly, it's hard to ignore. I urge you (and myself) to run to the light!!! God is waiting with open arms to receive you. The consequences may be HUGE, but His love and grace and mercy is BIGGER and longer lasting. He will carry you through, each step of the way. 

Now what?

Hey friends. I haven't blogged in a long time. Not sure why but it's time to start it up again. My wife Amy is a great blogger. She writes with such genuineness, depth, Biblical application, and boldness. You wouldn't know she is so bold at first meeting her. She's very sweet, quiet and introverted. Amazingly, our "marriage earthquake" of 2011 changed both of us quite a bit. She got bolder and stopped settling, and I got more honest and transparent. God has used something very traumatic and "ugly" for our good and His glory. Only God can pull off something like that.

The longer we are married, and the more we see God's mighty work in and through us, the more I love her, admire her, respect her, trust her, and look to her as my "helpmate." And, the more I love the Lord and grow to trust Him. Amy and I celebrate 20 years of marriage in 2017, and if you've seen or heard our story unfold, you can't help but praise God. Check out her blog here.

Since 2011, we have seen and experienced God's work in our lives through some amazing people, answered prayers, Bible studies, small groups, church worship, and family relationships. There were many days, months, weeks, and years that we did our best to simply get through each day without giving up. We've definitely had to lean on Jesus with our whole beings just to make it. God eventually brought us out of the funk, and we were able to minister to/with others more fully and confidently. Getting back into ministry became a burning desire, but we struggled to see how God would allow us to serve in a church full-time again.

I started praying in January of this year for God to do one of two things: take away my desire to get back into full-time ministry or remove the desire. Well, it wasn't long after that prayer that God opened the door for me to talk to a pastor friend about ministry. One thing led to another, and he invited our family to come to his church in Florida! I couldn't believe that he was willing to consider me, but after much prayer and visiting, we decided to pack up and move our family over 700 miles. What a blessing to be back in ministry. What a blessing for a friend to take a chance on us, knowing our full story. When we arrived in June 2016, the church family welcomed us with open arms and we went "all in." We have seen God work in amazing ways in just 5 months.

But here is the tragedy...my time at that church here in Florida is over. Last Wednesday I resigned and haven't been back to the church, unable to say goodbye personally to a majority of the people. One day I am fully employed, the next day I am without a job or ministry. There are lots of details to the situation that I won't share, but THANKFULLY I DIDN'T LEAVE DUE TO SIN OR MORAL FAILURE (unlike in 2011).

Sadly, the pastor and I couldn't overcome our differences. In my opinion, I didn't do anything to intentionally disrespect him, undermine him or his position as pastor, or do anything that would cause such tension. I also don't feel I under performed in my position as family pastor. I felt good about the work I was doing in each area of ministry. We loved the people; they loved us. I know I didn't do my job perfectly, but I don't think 5 months is long enough to build any sort of family ministry. It takes years. Regardless, things digressed quickly and I saw the "writing on the wall."

So, here I am without a church to call home or serve in. Though I don't agree with how things have played out (so far), I am moving on, grieving the loss of dear friends and full-time ministry at FABC, and asking God to show me/us where He wants us to serve next. Being without a job two weeks before Christmas isn't the ideal time of year, but it will increase the likelihood that we get to see God show out even more!

It's still a bit surreal, I must admit. It's a reminder that anything can happen "over night" - good or not
so good. In the blink of an eye, you can find yourself in a situation you can either fully submit to God and trust, or panic and live in fear and doubt. I'm hoping to go down the "trust and pray and obey even if things are perfectly clear" route, instead of the fear or doubt path. God has brought us too far for us to question His love and grace.

So, now what? I am seeking employment, part-time, full-time work, grunt work, ministry work - whatever work pays the bills, or gets as close as possible. Long term, Amy and I feel very strongly about pursuing Family Ministry. We have a heart and passion for helping couples and families overcome strongholds, heal, be restored, and walk in the Light, truth, and love of Christ. We may do it IN a local church or minister TO the local church. We don't know yet. We are praying for wisdom on how to fulfill this calling and passion.

I can hold my head up high, knowing God is in control, will teach me all that He wants me to learn, and that my faith, trust, and obedience is crucial to my growth and maturity. If sin needs to be exposed in me or anyone involved, then I pray that happens. If forgiveness needs to happen, then I pray that happens. If truth, even difficult to hear and receive, needs to happen (in love), then I pray that happens. I am praying for God's will, not mine, to be done.

Pray for us. Pray for the church. Pray for the students, the church body, and the leadership. Pray for wisdom, humility, healing, boldness, Biblical confrontation, faith, hope, and love. God is a good God, even when circumstances say otherwise...

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Ephesians 3:20, New International Version (NIV)

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

James 1:2-4, New International Version (NIV)

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

An Open Letter to Hillcrest Baptist Church

On August 28th, 2011, Scotty and I stood at the front of FBC in Clinton surrounded by friends and fellow believers praying over us. Just a few minutes before, Scotty confessed adultery to this congregation while giving his resignation. Honestly, we didn't know what to expect when we entered the worship center that morning. We knew what Scotty had to share, but we had no idea how they'd respond. They saw our pain, felt Scotty's remorse, and they felt burdened to pray healing, restoration, and redemption over us. God gave them grace to be HIS church to us, because He knew we NEEDED it.

On the exact same Sunday a year later, our family sat in the worship center of Hillcrest. We'd been visiting another church for over a month. New Albany had been home for nearly 2 months. When I woke up that August morning, the memories of Scotty's confession the year before hit me like a freight train. For whatever reason, I looked at him and said, "I can't go to that church today." At his suggestion, we chose to visit Hillcrest. From the moment we entered, we felt the Presence of the Lord. On that day, I'm sure we looked perfectly fine physically, but emotionally and spiritually we were a wreck. It seemed every song sung spoke directly to our pain. And, the message was genuine and practical. I believe we knew immediately that Hillcrest was home for us.

I don't think that would have been obvious to anyone else, though. We were slow in getting involved. To many, it probably seemed we'd NEVER plug in and serve. And, there were spans of weekends (particularly in the summer) when most people probably wondered if we even attended Hillcrest still. 

You see.... we came to you, Hillcrest family, broken, bruised, wounded, and sick. We knew we were exactly where we needed to be. We just didn't know what we were supposed to be doing. God had revealed to us with extreme clarity that our focus had to be inward. Our family needed to be rebuilt, and that was going to take all (every! single! bit!) of the energy we had. So, for much of the time we were part of the Hillcrest family, we may have seemed cold, and isolated, and unavailable.

You loved us anyway. Thank you!

During our time in New Albany, God did amazing works in us. Much of that work came through even more trial and even more struggle. Relationships were hard. Finances were problematic. Work and school were all-consuming. In so many ways, our time here has been our desert experience. God was bringing about good in a way that we could feel! The heaviness of it all, though, made us hard to relate to. Our conversations were darker, more serious, and required more depth than most want in everyday chatter. I know that we were difficult!

You loved us anyway. Thank you!

Most of you don't even know that Scotty and I spoke with Pastor Whit in January of 2015. We were unsettled and heavy hearted. We weren't involved, and we felt detached. We had a yearning in our hearts for more, and we couldn't figure out what that more could be. He listened to us, counseled us, prayed with us. Ultimately, the decision was ours. Soon after that meeting, we realized our heavy feelings were God's whispers telling us, "It's time to serve again."

Oh my! We'd almost forgotten what that felt like. But, once we knew we had a story to tell and God had released us to tell it, there was a fire in our belly to share. And, you let us! Every time we expressed the desire to do something, begin something, get involved in something, our leadership said, "YES." Many times, I know, we were overbearing, bossy, and maybe even insensitive in speech. Our desire to help others made us a bit bold.

You loved us anyway. Thank you!

Sunday morning, June 5th, 2016, we stood in front of our worship center surrounded by friends and fellow believers commissioning us back into ministry. The prayers of FBC Clinton were fulfilled and realized at Hillcrest over the past four years. Ultimately, God deserves all the glory. But, I will forever believe that He handpicked YOU to be THE church for us. With thankful hearts, we have come full circle. We have been given the opportunity to enter into ministry again. This time we do it with MORE humility and MORE understanding of the calling on our lives.

As excited as we are to see what God will do in Florida, we are equally as excited about what He will continue to do at Hillcrest. For a little while now, I've felt a powerful moving of the Holy Spirit in our midst. We are praying for even more! As you study Mega Faith this summer, I encourage you to "pray that the eyes of your heart might be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you," because I believe He's calling Hillcrest to BIG things.

Thank you for receiving us kindly, loving us BIG, and for sending us off expectantly. As long as we live, there will be a special place for Hillcrest Baptist Church and New Albany, MS, in our hearts.

"Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you, not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives."

"Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did." 

1 Thessalonians 2:8; New American Standard & The Message

Sincerely,
Scotty, Amy, Caleb, Collin, and Claire