Light vs. Darkness

<sup>Before I got busted in 2011 with my secret sin, I feared exposure. My last few months on staff at FBC Clinton were rough. I was doing damage control and lying to whoever got close to me and confronted me. I knew I needed to confess and face the consequences of my actions, but I held on to the lie as long as possible. The longer the lie went on, the greater the damage I caused. 

I wish I would have trusted Christ enough BEFORE going down the path of sin. I also wish I would have taken to heart these verses in Ephesians 5...</sup>

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

There are two key words here, at least regarding this post: darkness and light. For way too long, I chose to walk in darkness. Now, learning to live in the Light is a daily choice, that doesn't always come easy. However, it is worth it when I trust Christ to use it for my good, to encourage others, and to bring glory to His name. I am less hindered by sin and shame and self-pity when I live in a state of confession and repentance (i.e. walk in the light). 

I also notice when others are walking in "darkness." I see some of the same type of "damage control" that I lived for far too long. People acting like this don't realize how obvious it really is. It's foolish for us to think we can hide our sin. The truth will come out eventually, but until it does, it "oozes" out in our spirit, countenance, actions, secrets, attitude, etc. The "stinch" of living in darkness is the opposite of the "fragrance of the aroma of Christ." 

The word for darkness in this Bible passage of Ephesians 5 is "skotos," which refers to "moral darkness, the absence of spiritual light and truth, including the idea of sinfulness and consequent calamity." It also says in the NT dictionary that it speaks "of persons in a state of moral darkness, wicked men under the influence of Satan." I can attest to this truth. I was miserable in my sin and anytime I feared it would be brought into the light, I was paranoid, fearful, angry, and desperate to keep it a secret. 

The word for light in this Bible passage is "phos" or "phao" according to the NT dictionary. It means to "shine or make manifest; luminate." It is clearly opposite of darkness and refers to "moral and spiritual light and knowledge which enlightens the mind, soul or conscience, including the idea of moral goodness, purity and holiness, and of consequent reward and happiness; a true knowledge of God and spiritual things." When living in darkness, there is no happiness, purity, holiness, and there is little focus on "spiritual" things. There is more sin, paranoia, hatred, jealousy, and all sorts of issues. When living in the light of Christ, peace, joy, and the other "fruit" of the Spirit grows and develops.

Galatians 5 says it very well...

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

These verses remind me of two key truths:

1. I want to live in the light and never be "slave" to the darkness of secret sin ever again. As Al told me on the day of my resignation in 2011, "Scotty, sin sucks like Hell but God is good." Amen to that!
2. I do not have to bullied or hindered by people who refuse to walk in the light and according to the fruit of the Spirit. That is their choice to live with. I want to choose light over darkness. Lies and evil thrive in secrecy. People who are not willing to walk in the light and be open about their struggles, sin, etc. are living out Galatians 5:19-21. They will threaten, lie, bully, manipulate, coerce, bribe, and wreak havoc on themselves and others who threaten to expose them. I know. I did it for a long time!!! I am not judging or seeking to "gossip" as those who walk in the darkness proclaim. I am having the courage and willingness to call it what it is... darkness, sin, and destruction. God's word is clear on this...these are not my words.

God works in the light. Evil grows in secrecy. I have lived out both of these, and living in the light, as much as possible, even when uncomfortable or criticized, is more freeing, more honoring to the Lord, and allows for healing and more victory over sin. 

Behind closed doors, at any given time, especially when stressed, I struggle not to...

• Lecture my children and respond impatiently (especially my teenager)
• Worry about how I am going to provide for my family, and not feel like a failure
• Lust and become distracted by things of this world
• Be irritable or moody when the house is not somewhat in order and it feels chaotic
• Want to get rid of all electronic devices in our home when the peace in the home is gone and children are coming across as disrespectful or ungrateful 

These are just a few of my "issues." If I had them all figured out, then I wouldn't need Jesus. I don't like the struggles with money, family, career, relationships, but I am thankful. These situations keep me humble and remind me of the words in 1 Peter 5:7 about Jesus, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Jesus also said, "...apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).

Are you walking in the light or the darkness? Read Galatians and Ephesians again and the answer will be clear. You know the truth, even before reading those Bible verses, but reading them has a way of hitting you "right between the eyes." When God's word says something so clearly, it's hard to ignore. I urge you (and myself) to run to the light!!! God is waiting with open arms to receive you. The consequences may be HUGE, but His love and grace and mercy is BIGGER and longer lasting. He will carry you through, each step of the way.