Joe (Coach Ehrmann) had a catchy way of summarizing our cultural progression of false masculinity - 'from ball field to bedroom, to billfold.' What too many good men fail to realize is that this approach to life is utter foolishness. The ball field, the bedroom, and the wallet are merely outward experiences that fail to translate into permanent inner fulfillment and contentment. Furthermore, as time goes by, the ball field, the bedroom, and the wallet are never able to convince us in our innermost being that we truly measure up as men.Over the past three years, God has been working on me in all three of these areas - the ball field, the bedroom, and the billfold (money). I believe that I have experienced lots of growth (but still need to grow) on the "ball field," as a coach and dad, and in my hobbies and recreation. I have grown (and still need to grow) in my sexuality and sexual purity, while maintaining good accountability and heart transformation. The third component, the billfold, is where God is at work on me now. In many ways, it has been the hardest to let go of and change. It's why my emotional turmoil is so high lately.
Money triggers all sorts of strong emotions for me, many not good ones. Letting go of my failure as a provider and trusting in the Lord's leadership and security is no easy task. I know I have a role to play in earning a living, but in many ways, I feel that I need to destroy the idolatry in my heart and let God have His way. I want to stop looking to money for security. It doesn't work. Having a good bit of money is not a bad thing in and of itself. It sure beats having none or very little.
Money has no morals. It reveals what's in our heart. It can be used for good and for evil. I want to thrive financially so I can be a blessing to my family and others. I want to give freely, cheerfully, and not let money dictate my mood or security or masculinity. I also want to be joyful, content appropriately, and trust in God's provision NO MATTER WHAT THE BANK ACCOUNT SHOWS. The Apostle Paul learned to be content in his financial circumstances. That's what I want.
The ball field, the bedroom, and the billfold - three areas of a man's life that can be a huge stumbling block or an area of victory and honor to the Lord. I wish to honor the Lord in all three and not be "burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Letting go is hard when I focus on the wrong things. God is good. God is trustworthy. He is for me. Why doubt? I believe, Lord, help my unbelief.
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