I hope the title of this post doesn't offend you. If it does, then I apologize. I don't intend to offend but do want to express the reality of sin and its effect on us all.
After I publicly confessed my ugly sin, one of the men in the church whom I admired said to me, "Sin sucks like Hell...but God is good." He is so right, about both parts of that statement.
Sin hurts. Sin is painful. Sin is devastating to all it touches. My wife Amy has had to live with the ugly sins I committed against her and God. Some days it is very overwhelming to her and causes all sorts of emotions: disgust, anger, sadness, fear, confusion, and many more. If God wasn't very real in her life, then I am not sure how much she could endure. There are still days where neither of us is sure how much she can endure, even with her faith in God.
I have prayed for my wife many days that God would remove these awful thoughts from her mind. I am not sure how realistic that prayer is but I still pray it. I want God to fill her with His truth, His love, joy, peace, and ease her weary mind, heart and soul. I still need to be aware of her deep pain, but I wish for it to ease up, for her sake, not mine.
I don't like seeing her hurt so deeply but it was necessary for her healing, and mine. Dave Carder, author of Torn Asunder, says the closest thing to a guarantee he can give a betrayed spouse that their mate will never cheat again is this: the one who betrayed needs to see and experience the deep pain they have caused their spouse.
If you have betrayed your spouse, then you need to see and experience her pain fully. Don't run from it, deny it, minimize it, or avoid it. Let her express herself fully and allow God to use her pain to keep you accountable and on a healing path.
If you have been betrayed, then I hope you will have the courage to express your pain to the one who betrayed you. This doesn't need to be a vengeful, hateful, bitter expression, though it may come out at first. Let yourself grieve while being honest about your anger, hurt, disgust, and fears.
This is no easy journey of healing, which is why so few stick with it. Sin sucks like Hell, but God is good. Apart from Christ, you can do nothing. Abide in His love and comfort and let Him walk with You each step of the way. Don't go at this alone. It's too difficult to do alone.
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