Holy Matrimony

A second chance. That's what I have received. Years of darkness and shame, will hopefully now be replaced by grace, love, compassion, freedom, and a lasting legacy as a follower of Christ, husband, and father. I see what God can do with a life of obedience and trust. I also see what sin can do when it's allowed to reign in my life.

Reading chapter 6 of The Resolution for Men, I was reminded about the incredible privilege and high honor of marriage. I was also reminded of how I failed to view it as this and treat it as such.
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Characteristics of marriage according to Scripture are: Holy, set apart, a reflection of God's love for us, joyful, romantic, satisfying, significant, priceless, pure, character building, service to God and one another, commitment, self-sacrifice, sanctifying, protecting, and more.

Characteristics of marriage according to the world: ball and chain, burdensome, disappointing, dread, boring, devaluing of men, lack of commitment, hostile, tense, self-serving, unprotected, devalued, impure, conflict invoking, easy to end, and more.
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I need to be reminded and taught about the holiness of marriage. It's not something I ponder on daily because it's not really talked about much. It's definitely not a cultural trend. Our culture and world think quite the opposite. Adultery, divorce, abuse, abandonment, living like "roommates," boredom, hatred toward one another, etc. - these are the things we hear about often.

I want my marriage to be holy, pure, set apart, a reflection of God's love through Christ, and a fulfilling, satisfying relationship with my wife that is deep, committed and long lasting. I have some ground to make up, but I am thankful to even have the opportunity to build a holy marriage with Amy.

Kendrick says in chapter 6 about the holiness of marriage:

When you got married, you were declaring your wife holy unto you. That doesn't mean she's perfect. But you set her apart in your eyes above all the other women on the face of the earth. She became your prized possession for you to cherish, love, and protect for the rest of your life. And it is your responsibility to guard and keep her in that holy place of honor. If you belittle her or treat her in harsh, unloving ways, you are not just acting badly. You are profaning the treasure God has given you.

Prized possession. Treasure. How many men would say this about their wives? Not enough men.  I didn't for a long time. I now see Amy as this. My eyes have been opened. I want to help her feel cherished and like a treasure. I want to lead her and help her grow in Christ. I want to support her, protect her, pray for her, and love her fully.

Apart from Christ, this is wishful thinking. However, as Christ transforms me and equips me, while doing the same in and through Amy, we both get to experience His love more fully. Then, our marriage becomes a greater reflection of who He is and the gospel. That's what I want my children to see lived out here "behind closed doors."

By treating your wife as holy, and sex as holy, and everything about your marriage as holy, you place yourself and your spouse on a path that leads to blessing, friendship, respect, satisfaction, fulfillment, and togetherness. You experience what it really means to be in holy matrimony.

Marriage takes on a whole new meaning and purpose when thought of in these terms. It becomes more than just "duty," carpooling kids around, household chores, and other mundane acts of marriage. It's way bigger than those things. Those are only pieces of the puzzle. God has huge plans for marriage. The world is attacking marriages, but probably because our marriages as believers in Christ are so fragile.

If I took seriously my calling and command to love my wife as Christ loved the church, and other men did the same, then it would be amazing to see what would happen in our world.There's no doubt it would be difficult. It couldn't be done alone. Change starts with me. I want to experience more fully God's design of marriage and see beyond myself and the mundane. I believe Lord, help my unbelief.
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Isaiah 9:6-7, NASB

⁶ For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will ^[a]rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.
⁷ There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness
From then on and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this.

Merry Christmas Eve!