My Name

How does the sound of your name feel to you? When someone calls you by name, what are your first thoughts? Are they positive or disturbed a bit? It may depend on who is calling your name, huh? It also depends on the situation, the tone of their voice, etc.

This may seem a bit strange or awkward, but I have often cringed at the sound of my name. While still in Clinton, when someone said my name out loud in public, I used to "joke" and say, "Don't say that too loud around here." It really wasn't a joke since I had a lot of shame attached to my name. I don't have "warm, fuzzy" thoughts at the sound of my name; still to this day, but I am striving to overcome this.

This past Sunday at church, Pastor Whit preached on Grace and how God responds to us when we "fall away." Great stuff, and the closing video was very powerful. It was a "modern day" version of Jesus restoring Peter after his betrayal. One thing that hit me like a ton of bricks emotionally was when Jesus referenced Mark 16:7. The women had come to the tomb and Jesus was gone. The angel said to them, "But go, tell his disciples and Peter..."

Thinking about Peter's denial of Jesus and imagining he felt overwhelmed with shame and guilt, those two words, "...and Peter" have big significance. Jesus made it very personal and called him by his name. He was purposely preparing to restore Peter and not let him give up on his calling to "feed my sheep."

As someone who has denied and betrayed Jesus, having Jesus call my name is powerful stuff. Before we left Clinton, I had the opportunity to reconcile with a guy who I had hurt deeply. He told me that one night he felt God say, "Go up to Scotty and tell him you forgive him." I wasn't there that night, but when I heard him tell me that a few weeks later, it hit me hard.

Did Jesus really call my name to him? Was it really that personal for him and for me? Was it like when Jesus called Peter by name in order to restore him? If so, that is HUGE to me. It takes salvation and redemption from a general point of view, to a deeply personal one.

When God calls us to a relationship with Him, it is very PERSONAL. Do you see the impact of that? How can you and I give up everything to follow Christ without a deeply personal relationship with Him? When He calls you by name, it changes everything! If we would but listen and let that soak in!

This is an area of growth for me that I want to keep close to heart. I want my name, when I hear it spoken, to be freeing to me, not condemning. I want feel Jesus' pleasure and delight when He calls my name. I am a  child of God, but I want to feel special as His child. That is going to take some work, but it worth wrestling with. Jesus is very personal and calls us by name. That's truly amazing.

Mark 16: 4-7 (NIV) - Jesus Has Risen

⁴ But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. ⁵ As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
⁶ “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. ⁷ But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’”

 ^{Revelation 2:17 (NIV)}

 ¹⁷ “Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror; I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.”