"Afraid of Change? Then Fail."

The three pillars of self-worth according to Dr. Kevin Leman are Acceptance, Belonging and Competence. The C of competence has been an ongoing issue for me. I have often felt the opposite - Incompetence. Therefore, most of my life I have lived in fear, afraid to risk. Afraid to fail. Even afraid to succeed. It's really annoying. I don't like it and have to pray daily for God's help and forgiveness.

I have worked really hard the past two and a half years to overcome it/manage it. I am further along than I used to be, but the feeling of incompetence still pokes it's head out from time to time. Especially when I do home projects. That, along with money can trigger my feelings of inadequacy very quickly.

The good thing is that in Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I have full acceptance, belonging and competence. As an adopted son, child of the king, heir, I have been included in His life (Galatians 3:22 through Galatians 4:7 to start with). That's my identity. Whenever I forget this, I lose proper focus and the outcome is not good - Fear, anxiety, sin, worry, doubt, pride, anger, and even self-reliance.

As a result of my internal struggles that last decades (30+ years it seems), I ended up failing in a big way. I'm now 39 years old and have begun to start over - in my marriage, career, family, spiritual journey, and recovery. Thankfully, I get to start over and do things differently, better. That fact keeps me humble and grateful. It's a daily task to remain in that humility and gratefulness, "but for the grace of God" and by the grace of God.

I have learned many life lessons the hard way. The key is not that I have failed but rather that I have failed and can learn from those mistakes. AND, if I let God do His full redeeming work in me, I will receive huge dividends "if I don't give up." I hope I let my failure make me stronger. God is capable of doing that sort of thing. He does it with broken bones that heal. He can also do it with broken lives. That's my hope and prayer!

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Galatians 4:4-7 (The Message)

 ^4-7 But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.