Words of blessing

Deep down, I believe we all came into this world wanting to please our parents and have their blessing on our lives. Difficulties may hinder us from receiving it or experiencing it, but the longing is still there. It goes all the way back to early Bible times. Though our culture doesn't really use that terminology or milestone like some countries do or like they did in Bible times, it's still relevant and important to each of us.

It's easy to overlook this need. I know I have misunderstood it, until I read back through Dr. Laaser's book, Taking Every Thought Captive. I took some notes from his book that I want to pass along today (see below). Very insightful and helpful, particularly for us who are recovering from sins involving betrayal. The "Why?" starts to become clearer and clearer the more I learn from others much wiser than me. Knowing my "Why?" doesn't make my sins okay or any less painful or destructive. However, it helps me better heal and mature in such a way that my past isn't repeated - LORD willing!

God blessed Jesus with powerful words in Matthew 3. God's affirmation and blessing of His Son are the longings we want to hear deep in our souls. Scripture says God delights in us. It's hard to fathom or receive such powerful truth; at least I struggle to. However, the more I let His delight change me and transform me, the less power sin has in my heart and mind, and the freer I become.

Matthew 3:13-17 - The Baptism of Jesus

¹³ Then Jesus *arrived from Galilee at the Jordan coming to John, to be baptized by him. ¹⁴ But John tried to prevent Him, saying, “I have need to be baptized by You, and do You come to me?” ¹⁵ But Jesus answering said to him, “Permit it at this time; for in this way it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he *permitted Him. ¹⁶ After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened, and ^[i]he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and ^[j]lighting on Him, ¹⁷ and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, “This is ^[k]My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

Read what Dr. Laaser says about blessing, and this powerful need we each have....

One of our biggest desires is the desire to be blessed. What it is really all about is the longing to be loved just for who we are and not what we do. Affirmation is the desire to be recognized for what we have done, while blessing is the desire for recognition of who we are as persons. Matthew 3:17, “This is my Son, whom I love and with him I am well pleased.”

Did you get words of blessing like that from your earthly mother or father? Were they glad you were born? Did they ever tell you they were proud of you? One of my clients told me he doesn’t remember that his mother ever smiled when he entered the room. That is a powerful memory. It is not about what his mother did; it’s about what she didn’t do.

Blessing is about that smile, a sense of interest and enthusiasm in who you are. Blessing is about being celebrated. Examine your heart carefully because blessing is really important. Those of you who don’t feel as though you received it may experience shame or a sense of worthlessness. This is the feeling that you don’t really matter or that you can never be enough or get things right.

To understand this you don’t have to get to some angry place where you start thinking, “My parents did an awful job!” My experience over the years has taught me that parents mostly do the best they possibly can. Many of them, however, are in pain of some kind and don’t’ really know how to love as they should. All parents make mistakes; I know I have. 

In order to understand the feelings you have inside, allow yourself to simply say that the journey of healing is about understanding the messages you have inside. 

Some of them, based on how you were raised, may not be consistent with God’s opinion of you. God is the only parent who can truly love us as we ought to be loved, and he is certainly the only one who can truly bless us.

Remember fantasies and what they can tell us about the longing of our soul? Do you see that if you never felt blessed, accepted, included or affirmed, your fantasies of success, fame, or achievement may be your attempt to solve this feeling? 

Very insightful truth. I realize that there were many years I didn't understand these longings in my soul. Instead of dealing with them in healthy, God-honoring ways, I often tried to numb my pain or I sought relief in very sinful ways. What I was desperately searching for I already had - God's delight and blessing as His child. When I started resting in this truth, then I was free to live. My journey now is to heal from my past and continually seek Him, letting His love fill me and change my heart, my mind, and therefore, my actions. 

One way to show this delight and feel this delight is by smiling. I not only want to smile more as a person, but I want to smile more toward Amy and my three beloved children. My smile sends a strong message of acceptance and delight. A frown sends a message of disapproval and maybe even worse. 

What's the smile "count" in your life? In your home? Are you sending a message of blessing to those around you? Maybe you have struggled like me to let God's love and delight "stick" and sink in. Choose to smile today. It makes a difference. To you and your loved ones.