Recovering "Smart Mouth"

For many years, I coached baseball and soccer. I am highly competitive and my "passion" usually got the best of me and caused problems. It seemed that I could find conflict whenever I stepped foot onto the sports complex. I had an edge about me that seemed to bring conflict to me. Or, as Amy said recently, "You couldn't let anything go." I had to speak my mind (well, I didn't have to but often did). I am a recovering "smart mouth" (to put it nicely). Other words come to mind that I won't type here.

As a recovering "smart mouth," I still have to fight to hold in my tongue when "potential conflict" occurs or something happens that pushes my buttons. When we moved to North MS, we immediately joined a ball team with both of our boys. It has been a huge blessing to them and us. Admittedly, I was concerned that being on the ball field again would be a challenge for Amy and me. It was a bit of a sticky issue for us, since for years I caused such turmoil in our marriage through my actions and attitude on and off the ball field.

Miraculously, Amy and I have only one or two minor incidents that triggered some minor troublesome emotions for her and our marriage. I have worked hard to let go of a lot of my "edge," so we can all enjoy the ball watching (and now coaching). It has been a huge blessing.

This past weekend, though, my buttons got pushed. I was very agitated but thankfully remained calm (mostly). I did complain about the incident for a couple of hours, but it was not near the problem that it would have been a few years ago. Thank the Lord.

It was really a quite annoying situation that happened. We were watching our oldest son play ball, and as the game started wrapping up, the parents of the next team to play on the field starting making their way into our "space." They were drifting closer and closer to where Amy and I were sitting. Then, as soon as the game was over, they swarmed our area. We were packing up our things and looked up to find that we were completely surrounded. Literally, 10 or 15 people had made a circle around us and were just staring at us.

I looked toward where we were going and saw about a six inch gap between an older lady and a man. I looked at him and said in a bit of an agitated tone, "Do you think we could get by?" He, in his smart mouthed tone said, "Why certainly." Aw man. Did that push a button. I am a bit embarrassed to admit it, though the situation was totally uncalled for. The people could have waited and given us space. Oh well.

It was a "close call" moment that could have gone much worse; especially being Easter weekend. I wish I would have not gotten so bothered internally about it. I felt like I responded to them in a calm manner, though on the inside I was highly bothered. I don't know what I would have done differently a few years ago, but I hope I never have to find out. I want to continue to grow in this area because we are going to spend a lot of time on the ball field. There will be people who do crazy things out of my control. I just don't want to be one of those "crazy" people who causes a scene.

I can laugh about it now, mostly. I want to keep growing, while also learning to laugh at myself more. I know I have work to do. As a recovering "smart mouth," I hope to use my words to speak life. Man, it sure is hard sometimes. :)

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James 3:10, The Message (MSG)

^7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
^10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?