Keep "Sowing"

It's Fall. I love Fall. I love looking out my window and see a lake and beautiful trees. And we have lots of trees. And trees have leaves. And leaves fall in the Fall. Lots of them. Thousands of them. Though thousands have fallen already, there are thousands more left to fall. Me and the kids have raked and mowed some of the leaves in the front yard. I have used a blower to push them aside from the street. Some days I wonder if I didn't rake or blow the leaves, would I be able to see our house or street by the end of the Fall. On very windy days, it seems like that could happen!

Even as I type, I am watching tons of leaves fall to the freshly raked ground. Raking seems pointless on certain days. I raked yesterday. Today you can hardly tell. I could rake every day and get the same outcome - a clean yard for one day. So why rake? Why bother? Well, here at our house, there are so many leaves, that if we didn't rake in certain places, the leaves would be so thick that it would be difficult to play in the front yard, much less rake them up at the end of the Fall. Our "raking" is more or less maintenance. We aren't going for a "leaf free beautiful yard." It's really more about practicality. 

I'm not complaining because I love Fall and I love the piece of property we are blessed by. It's a great location and we love it here. Yes, it comes with a requirement of maintenance and upkeep, but if we didn't have the upkeep, then we wouldn't have the view we have. We are grateful. Most days. :)

Like raking leaves, on some days recovery doesn't seem to make a difference. It may even feel like you are going through the motions. My recovery has had days where despite my best efforts, I still got moody or bothered by trivial things. Other days I had joy that could hardly be shaken. Then, I have had weeks where I felt anxious and in a "fog" that felt like it would never leave. It's been quite a ride. One I prefer to stay on, with maybe less dips.

When people come to me for help or advice with adultery recovery, I try to explain to them the importance of taking it one day at a time and creating daily disciplines that will help them stay in the fight for their marriage for the long haul. Or, with men who have betrayed their spouse and want to do their recovery well, it's about "doing whatever it takes, as long as it takes" and letting God heal them from the inside out. It's a slow, pruning process that will challenge them to their max. It has me for sure.

It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's tempting during the crisis, to want a quick fix or relief. People often "hit a wall" and wonder why things aren't improving. Surrendering control and letting God be in charge of the results often takes some of us awhile to achieve. One of the most recent suggestions I have offered spouses in adultery situations is to "slow down." The pursuit of relief and needing "closure" can cause them to rush the healing process. Grief starts with acceptance. Until we reach acceptance of our situations and trust God, we will struggle to rest in Him and let Him lead us each step of the way. Being still and knowing He is God and delighting in the Lord so He can give you the desires of Your heart remains true and necessary, especially when all else seems hopeless or too much to endure.

Is recovery worth it, even if people don't respond the way we hoped or our situation doesn't turn out as we wanted? Yes. Is it worth the energy required to develop new ways of coping and seek to undue the old ways of coping, though change doesn't come easy or overnight? Yes. Is recovery worth it when we think it is taking too long? Yes. Is recovery worth it when we seem to be stuck in a rut and don't understand what God is up to? Yes.

I recently listed to a CD by Jim Rohn. He's so wise and full of powerful insight that can help lead to personal growth and success. Here are a few of his quotes:

 “Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.”

"Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.”

“Don't wish it was easier wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems wish for more skills.

"Don't wish for less challenge wish for more wisdom”

"Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.”

Feeling weary, like giving up? Stay in the daily fight to become a better person and let God have His way in your heart. He's good. He is for you. You are beloved to Him. Don't give up or give in. He is with you and will never leave you or forsake you, even if your circumstances seem terrible or your emotions tell you otherwise.  Keep sowing.

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Galatians 6:9, New International Version (NIV)

⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.