Patience (or lack of)

Somehow the topic of patience came up yesterday at our house. Caleb, my 10 year old, has ordered an item and is "impatiently" waiting on it to arrive. He is anxious to get it delivered and has asked about it daily. He is tracking it online and can't seem to understand why it's taking so long. We mentioned something about being patient, and he said he was. Collin, his younger brother, chimed in and said, "Patience is not asking about it every single day for 6 days." We laughed and agreed.

Words of wisdom from an 8 year old. Those words came to my mind this morning as I pondered my prayers to God. In my waiting on His timing with various requests, I realized that, based on Collin's definition of patience, I am being impatient. I am asking daily for the same request, and feeling anxious at times that nothing seems to be happening. Though I know lots of great things are happening AND it's okay to "present my requests to God" and "pray without ceasing," there are times when my prayers start to sound like desperate pleas and doubt, rather than faith and trust.

I don't want to be impatient, though it seems to come naturally. Faith and trust are two things I have to daily pray for. Impatience is more of a "default" response, sadly. Thankfully, deep down I believe that God is faithful and answers prayers. I know by experience that His ways are best. Mine stink. Therefore, when I get anxious and desperate for an "answer," I am glad that He doesn't always give me what I think I need. I'd much rather have what He sees is best for me/us.

When I start to get overwhelmed and/or impatient, that's when I have to remind myself of His "daily bread." I don't want to rush the healing and maturing process. I don't think God minds me asking Him daily for answers, but for me to experience His peace, I need to learn to rest in Him. Rest doesn't come easy, but it's something He is teaching me.

Rest isn't passive and lazy when done according to His way. It's about perspective I believe. I do all I know to do as an act of obedience, and then let Him handle the results. When I focus on my walk with Him and pursue Him, His wisdom, and His leading, that's when I am able to rest. When I start focusing on the results, outcomes and "what ifs," that's when I get anxious, impatient, and doubt.

Hard lessons to learn on these "low" days, but so valuable and necessary. Yes, Collin, I am impatient, too, but thank you for the words of wisdom and reminder. Lord, Jesus, I believe in You and trust You, but help my unbelief!

Isaiah 40:31, The Message (MSG)

^27-31 Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
    or, whine, Israel, saying,
“God has lost track of me.
    He doesn’t care what happens to me”?
Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?
God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
    He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
    And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
    gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
    young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
    They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
    they walk and don’t lag behind.