"Complaint"

I had a nickname in high school, well actually more than one, but one of them sticks out more than others lately. I was called "complaint." I was very negative and quite vocal about it. I had the "Rogers temper" and vented my disapproval often. I had that habit long past high school. It rears it's ugly head even still. It is a battle to fight daily to prevent it from taking up residence again.

I have many regrets in life. One is becoming clearer as I continue to do inventory of my heart and soul. I regret that I have wasted tons of opportunities to use my tongue (i.e. my words) to speak life and kindness and encouragement: with my children, with Amy, with my extended family, and with people I don't know well or like very much. I get it right from time to time, but I still have some deep seated "habits and hang ups" with my words that I need to be more disciplined and transformed.  

I started reading "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. I am bit late in reading it since over 15 million copies have been sold since the 1930's. Right out of the gate (chapter one), I was burdened by my repeat offense of principle one: Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Carnegie said it does little good to criticize or condemn others because of people's thirst for approval. Our condemnation and criticism "doesn't lead them to making lasting changes" AND "they will likely justify themselves" (not own up to it) and they will "condemn us in return." 

It seems so obvious and even in line with Gods truth. "Do everything without grumbling or complaining" to name one verse. There are tons more. So why do I continue to lack discipline with my words and tongue? I guess it is something I am finally ready to allow God to heal and work on. Add it to the long list since 2011. 

I am grateful to become more aware and burdened by this sin and struggle of mine. I prefer to speak love and kindness, though I don't as a habit. It is a choice and can be corrected. If you have been a victim of my negativity or "spewing" over the years, then I am terribly sorry. I hope you will forgive me. For your sake. My heart longs to speak life and love. My habits contradict this longing. May God transform my heart, since "out of the overflow of he heart the mouth speaks."
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James 3:10 (NASB)

¹⁰ from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.