Transformation

I have spent a lot of time over the past three years, reading and listening to audios to help me undo much of the faulty thinking I lived by for many years. I need constant reminders since I quickly go back to "familiar" ways of thinking, particularly when I am feeling stressed or inadequate (i.e. helpless, powerless, insecure, not good enough, etc.). Running to God and His truth daily is what I need and is best. It's a process, a journey, a fellowship with the Father that is a slow, deepening, not a quick fix, or "sprint." 

I have to guard against "sprinting" since I can be impatient and/or panic. I can tell when I am rushing God's timing or trying to skip steps because I feel overwhelmed, self-pity, fear, and move toward isolation and withdrawal. Temptations are highest when I feel that way as well - depression, hopelessness, despair, shame, self-hatred, and even sexual temptation. Feelings can lead us astray and reveal our internal beliefs. God's truth never changes or returns "void." I don't want to allow shame to stick around and do as Matt Chandler said in a sermon, "...in our shame we tend to turn to things that cause us shame." Doing that only compounds the shame and problems. It doesn't ease the pain; it magnifies the pain.

Like eating, drinking fluids, filling up our tanks with gas, I need to refill everyday. The longer I go without plugging into Christ and His truth and delighting in Him and Him in me, the worse my thinking becomes. The more I seek information over transformation, the worse I become as well. I don't want to use God for what He can do for me or give me. I want to love Him with no strings attached. That's how He loves me - it's unconditional. He doesn't need anything from me, but He wants to have a relationship with me. He wants my heart. He wants me to trust Him. He loves me even if I don't love Him back. He is faithful, even if I am unfaithful to Him.

Am I impatient? Yes. Do I have trust issues? Yes. Do I want to walk in Christ's freedom and stop giving into unbelief and doubt? YES! Thankfully, God is patient, kind, slow to anger, and isn't threatened by my emotional "roller coaster." He is the "same yesterday, today, and forevermore." He "sees the depths of my heart and loves me the same" as Chris Tomlin sings. That's an amazing love. I believe; help my unbelief. 

In this "Information Age," to grow and mature, I need to let God turn my information into transformation. Otherwise I have a lot of knowledge without heart and life change. 

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Romans 12:1-2 (NASB)

12 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, ^[a]acceptable to God, which is your ^[b]spiritual service of worship. ² And do not be conformed to this ^[c]world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may ^[d]prove what the will of God is, that which is good and ^[e]acceptable and perfect.