Vows

Disclaimer: I am going to post this, knowing it may be a painful reminder to Amy, and even myself, about my failure to stay true to our wedding vows that I made on May 17, 1997, before her, God, and our friends and family.

This is an exert from the book, The Meaning of Marriage. It's a reminder to hang on to your marriage and vows, despite how tough things may be currently...

Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love. A wedding should not be primarily a celebration of how loving you feel now - that can safely be assumed. Rather, in a wedding you stand up before God, your family, and all the main institutions of society, and you promise to be loving, faithful, and true to the other person in the future, regardless of undulating internal feelings or external circumstances.

Longitudinal studies reveal that two-thirds of unhappy marriages will become happy within five years if people stay married and do not get divorced. Two thirds! What can keep marriages together during the rough patches? The vows. A public oath, made to the world, keeps you "tied to the mast" until your mind clears and you begin to understand things better. Its keeps you in the relationship when your feelings flag, and flag they will.

I realize more and more how little I focused on the covenant of my marriage vows and commitment to God and Amy. I was foolish, ignorant, selfish, and cold-hearted. I am grateful that my marriage has survived and somehow is moving closer to how God designed it to be. I pray that Amy and I both continue to grow in our love for Christ and one another, so we can experience fully all God intends for our marriage and family life - not just for ourselves - but for our children, a lost world, and for His Name sake.