Amy and I went to our counseling session yesterday and spent two hours with our therapist. It's part of our commitment to each other to go at least once per quarter. It is well worth it and has been a very integral part of our recovery and marriage growth. During the session, she asked us to rate our marriage the two years prior to our "fallout," which would have been around 2009. And then to rate our marriage now, some four years later, 2013.
On a scale from 0 to 10, with zero being the lowest, and 10, the highest, we both said our marriage was around a 2 or 3 in 2009. Things were pretty low, and we barely were hanging in there. Children and our "history" was holding us together. In 2013, we both rated our marriage at around an 8. We are closer than ever and seeing tremendous growth in us as a couple, individuals, and even in our children's lives.
Putting things in the perspective of "then and now" was very helpful to me. We have been on an emotional roller coaster ride for the past two years and often lose sight of what all God is up to. If you are around us much, then you may notice that some days we are just in a "daze" and not so chipper. Other days we may be laughing and full of energy. It's part of our journey. We are slowly letting God do His healing work. We long to delight in Him, AND allow His delight in us to set us free from worry, fear, and uncertainty.
We know we still have a lot to work through and heal from, but it's truly amazing that we are at an 8. That's a huge testimony to God's grace and work. How can we be at an 8 after going through such awful sin and betrayal and public and private shame? Only by the grace of God. He has done miracles of healing, restoration, and sanctification that is truly humbling. He is the hero of our story. As the song says, "Our God is an awesome God."
Psalm 145, New International Version (NIV) - A Psalm of Praise
1 I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2 Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.
3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.
5 They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty— and I will meditate on your wonderful works.[b]
6 They tell of the power of your awesome works— and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
8 The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
9 The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
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