I don't know fully what God plans are for me regarding ministry type work. I want to be a resource to pastors, churches, men and couples when it comes to adultery prevention and recovery. I am praying daily for God to lead me in this. I don't know who, when, if, or where God will lead me in this area of ministry. It's no easy calling for sure but is desperately needed. I am one man with a story, but I believe God can use our story to impact others. God saved our marriage and continues to do things only explainable as a "God thang." I want to share it as God allows and trust Him with the results.
There were two men from the Bible that come to mind when I think about feeling "disqualified" - King David and Peter, the disciple. They were called by God to lead and do great things for His kingdom but sinned miserably. Though there were major consequences, God still used those men to accomplish great things. God doesn't want us to sin but somehow can use something evil and make it into something good.
Look at these two verses about David and Peter:
King David was a "man after God's own heart." Yet, he committed adultery and had the woman's husband murdered. He also blew it often as a father and leader.
Peter, the disciple, called the "rock," was going to be the person Christ used to build his church, yet Peter denied even knowing Jesus. He betrayed Jesus when Jesus was arrested. Yet, Jesus restored Peter and used him to do amazing things for the gospel of Christ.
Two men of God. Two major sinners. Two testimonies of God's mercy, grace, and power. It makes a point very clear: God is the hero of our stories. We, "like sheep, all go astray" yet God remains faithful. He will always remain faithful and see His work through.
I have never pretended that my sin needs to be quickly forgotten and not seen as terrible. I know what I have done is awful. I have life-long consequences no doubt. Thankfully, God is not holding my sin against me or withholding forgiveness. I want to be restored fully and see what God can do with our story of redemption.
He is our hero. He is the One who is capable of doing great things despite my sin. I want to be open and willing to let Him do so, no matter what emotions I feel on certain days or how challenging this type of ministry may be. I believe, Lord, "help my unbelief."