"Even the darkness is not dark to You..."

I read Psalm 139 this week and noticed something very powerful and important. In verse 7, it says, "Where can I go from Your spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?" At first, it seems that the writer is trying to get away from God. I can understand this since I lived in such sin for so long. Being close to God reminded me of my sinfulness and shame!

However, these words to me are not saying he wants to run from God. It seems to say that it is amazing that God is everywhere and no matter how hard life gets, His presence is always there to comfort. That's a very different perspective from thinking "How can I get away from God!!?"

Verse 12 is the verse that jumped out at me and spoke to me this week. It says, "Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You." Psalm 139:12 (NASB).

Over the past two years, Amy and I have experienced some very "dark" days. In those moments, it was hard to see past the pain and uncertainty. We knew God was with us and was faithful, but in those moments, pain was all we could feel. Verse 12 of Psalm 139 is a powerful truth and reminder, though. "Even the darkness is not dark to You." Wow. When I am overwhelmed by darkness, God is not. To Him, there is no difference between light and darkness.

He is not threatened by my emotional turmoil. He is not changed by my sin. He is not shaken or thrown off guard. He is a rock, a fortress, a faithful God even when I am not. He will never be moved. Nothing I do can separate me from His love. His promises still stand true. He is God alone.

When I am experiencing dark days, I can put my trust in Him. Running from His presence and sinning won't help. Fearing and despairing won't help. Worry and doubt won't help. Rest and trust in Him is the key. Resting in His promises no matter how jacked up my emotions are will be the key to my recovery.

I am grateful that God saw fit to pull me out of my sin and mess. I am humbled that He has anything to do with me. I am honored that He disciplines me and "sifts" me because that means He is my Heavenly Father and loves me.

I want to rejoice like the writer says in Psalm 139:14, "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well." I want to believe this truth DAILY about myself, my wife, my children, my enemies, and my friends - deep in my heart and soul. Bust through my shame, O Lord, and help my soul know this very well.