Friday, June 7, 2013
Some Things To Consider, Part 3
This is part three of a group of posts sharing about some things to do as you begin your journey of healing from adultery. They are very brief but meant to get someone started. This blog will hopefully be a regular source of information for those needing to hear it. I am writing as part of my recovery and healing, so hopefully it will help others along the way as well. Adultery recovery is brutal but worth the struggle. Apart from Christ, I can't imagine trying to do it.
The first two things that I shared are (see previous posts):
#1 End all affairs (extra marital relationships), including any emotional, overly friendly opposite sex friendships, pornography, etc. Healing and recovery won't happen without this vital step occurring.
#2 Walk through the pain. No one likes pain but walking through it, not from it or numbing it, is critical to long term healing. Don't sacrifice long-term healing for short-term relief.
Today, I want to share a third thought that seems obvious but is worth noting.
#3 Each situation involving betrayal will be a bit different.
Details of your situation will look different than mine or others. There are all types of adulterous relationships and the details will vary in each situation. That doesn’t mean these truths (and others) won’t help you. In the Bible, King David’s sin cost him his child’s life as well as deep pain and suffering (see 2 Samuel 12:15-25).
There are always consequences for betrayal. You may lose your family, your career, your friends, and more. However, you may seem to get off easier than others. I got to experience way more grace and blessing than I deserved. I am forever grateful that I still have my family and my marriage.
Last week as I was driving, my mind started drifting back to the moments of my public confession. I shared with over 600 people what I had done. I still remember the looks on certain people's faces as I shared the terrible news. That day is forever etched into my brain.
I also got to thinking about the hundred or so children in my children's ministry at the time. I was very close to many of them. One day "Mr Skitty" (as some called me) is at the church, loving on them. The next day, he disappears without a trace. Man, I get overwhelmed thinking about the abandonment they must have felt.
Whatever the case for you (and me), God’s grace and mercy is bigger than your sin. Betrayal and sin is not acceptable, but forgiveness and restoration is always available. Pray for wisdom and let these truths of Scripture serve as a guide to you. Trust in God’s word and let Him do His work in you, even if your journey starts and ends differently than someone else’s.
God, who has called you into fellowship with His Son Christ Jesus, is faithful. 1 Corinthians 1:9