Chains of shame, feeling incompetent, pride, fear, doubt, a lack of trust, unbelief... All have kept me in bondage. Many led me down a road of sin and betrayal that I will forever regret. I'm tired of them. I want to be free from them. I want to be a "go getter" and passionately, freely, confidently, fully pursue Christ and all He has in store for me, my family, my kids, and beyond.
My whole life, I have wavered between STUBBORN DETERMINATION and PARALYZED BY FEAR. It's strange to me that some things I pursue don't hinder me or intimidate me. I can go out and run and train for a half marathon or full marathon and not bat an eye. It comes naturally and comfortably to me. I can write comfortably and enjoy it quite a bit. I can paint, work hard in the yard, deer hunt, make my kids laugh, fish, and more and not really struggle with feeling inadequate.
However, there is another part of me that gets frozen with fear or feelings of inadequacy nearly every time. When it comes to career, I usually get hung up by fear and doubt. Money also triggers this same feeling. Even as a man, I have often felt like a hypocrite, an "imposter" and not good enough. Sadly, these and other "triggers" have caused me to hold back in life and hinder my dependence on Christ. It's quite annoying, I must admit.
My prayer is that Jesus breaks every chain of mine. I want to be relentless in my pursuit of Christ. I don't want to give in to fear, shame, guilt, pride, immorality, unbelief, or doubt any more. I want to live life fully and stop believing the lies of the evil one that say I am not good enough or can never be all that God wants me to be. I want this for me. I want this for Amy and our marriage. I want it for my kids. And beyond!
I heard a song last week on Pandora that led to me worship right there in the car on the way to the office. It is exactly what I needed to hear and want to experience daily. It is called, "Break Every Chain," by Jesus Culture (see below).
It is a powerful worship song that God used to speak to me. It repeats several phrases over and over - "There is power in the name of Jesus" and "Break every chain." These two phrases are my prayer that I never want to stop praying or hoping for. May it speak to you today, too.
"Break Every Chain," by Jesus Culture (music video)