Embarrassment

I read a blog this morning on the QBQ.com website called, "Embarrassment - Bad for Me. Bad for Others." Click here to read it for yourself. It's a great article reminding us all about the one of the reasons we lie and avoid taking personal responsibility for our actions - to avoid embarrassment. Maybe it's pride, fear, too. Regardless, when we spend a lot of energy trying to "save face" instead of owning up to our bad choices, the end result usually isn't that good.

I have either felt embarrassed, worked hard to avoid feeling embarrassed, or embarrassed others in my 38 years of life. I am not proud of that fact, and I hope I am maturing in this area of my life. I don't like to be embarrassed, but I sure don't like to embarrass or be disrespectful to others, though I manage to do so more than I prefer. Even with my own children.

A few years ago I remember being asked to do a break out session at a marriage and family therapy conference. This was before all my junk came out. I was not looking forward to it. I was a nervous wreck, and I felt completely inept and like a huge hypocrite. I was speaking on a topic I didn't feel qualified to speak on.

Before, during, and after the session, I remember feeling completely embarrassed and anxious. I told myself I would NEVER do that again! I wanted to sprint out of that room that day. It was not a good feeling. I had similar feelings, for a much different reason, when I had to publicly tell my church that I had been unfaithful to my wife. Huge shame and embarrassment, for me and her.

Embarrassment is going to happen. Sometimes it is due to sin and pride and lying. Other times it's simply due to "life" happening. You may trip while walking. Say something dumb or inappropriate. You may make "bodily noises" accidentally. The list is long.

My desire is two things:
(1) I want to reduce significantly the number of situations that lead to embarrassment as the result of sin and pride. I don't want pride to have any place in my life.  I have to work hard to fight against, but with God's help, I can grow in maturity in this area.

(2) I want to accept full responsibility for my actions when I do embarrass myself as the result of my sin and pride. I don't want to walk in shame, but I do want to face it, admit it, ask for forgiveness, and learn from it.

The past two years, I have been more transparent regarding my sin, struggles, and journey than probably the first 36 years of my life. It doesn't come naturally to me, but the more I do it, the more comfortable I become with it. I can't change the fact of what I have done regarding my betrayal, but I can use it for good and allow God to work in and through me. That's my prayer.

I am going to embarrass myself and others. Hopefully, I won't lie and refuse to take personal responsibility when I do, though. Confession is freeing and healing. Lying, blame, defensiveness and refusing to come clean is draining. Check out the article and be encouraged today. http://qbq.com/embarrassment/

Proverbs 32:3-5 (The Message)

When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans.

The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up.

Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.”

Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.