Monday, July 29, 2013

Recovery is Like Remodeling/Building a Home

We have started painting a few rooms in our house in an effort to update it a bit. We have some remodeling that will have to be done in phases so we can pace ourselves and not go overboard. Remodeling and updating has it's enjoyable aspects, but it is also a bit tiring and overwhelming at times.

This weekend, I painted our bathroom. I even changed out the vanity light and mirror. It looks much better, but it makes the existing sink, cabinets and hardware look way outdated and a bit out of place. A simple paint job exposed the other areas of the bathroom that needed attention.

This is how it is with remodeling, and even building a home. A change here. An addition there. Fix one area and other areas show up as needing attention. Before you know it, you have doubled the cost of the project and still aren't done. It seems never ending.

Adultery recovery (and most recovery) is like remodeling a home. You "fix" one area and get healing, only to see 10 other areas you need to address. You usually discover along the way several things you missed early in the process. Recovery usually takes longer and is much harder than you anticipated.

If you aren't careful, in your recovery you will get so overwhelmed and frustrated that you give up, give in, or rush the process. Just like with remodeling a home, you need to pace yourself, try to enjoy the process, and stay on course. Don't let discouragement or the "slowness" of progress cause you to despair. Let God do all He can and wants to in your life.

Also like remodeling or building a home, your recovery doesn't have to be perfect. It is about on-going improvement - "failing forward" so to speak. You will have set backs and obstacles at every turn. You will make mistakes and not always respond the way you prefer. When that happens, evaluate what happened, ask God for help and forgiveness, and get back up again, trudging forward.

I have come a long way in my recovery the past 24 months, but I have a long way to go. It is a daily decision to do my recovery or not. I don't want to drift back into old ways of thinking or relating. I want to constantly be pruned, sifted, matured, disciplined and led by God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Some days will be smooth, while others will be overwhelming and painful.

As I have tried to work on me, I have noticed that after I feel good about one area of healing in my life, another one pops up soon after. God seems to show me only a little bit of His plans for me one or two issues at a time. That suits me because I can't multitask too well some days. I need to keep my focus narrow and on God's plans and timing. It's a gradual, deepening that will pay off in the long run but can feel slow, maybe even hopeless, at times.

God's calendar is not the same as mine. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. That's so comforting to know!!! I get impatient, but I know deep down His path and plans are way better than mine.

As I continue to paint and do some updates to our home here in North MS, I hope to remember my recovery journey and keep things in proper perspective. I don't want to cut corners in remodeling or my recovery work. I want full healing, so I will need to ask God to remind me of that from time to time. Thank you, Jesus, for your patience with me. I know I am hard headed!

Proverbs 29:18 (The Message)
If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what He reveals, they are most blessed. 

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