The words of Agur Ben Yakeh

I recently read Proverbs 30 and the title of the chapter was "THE WORDS OF AGUR BEN YAKEH." I laughed and can't say I have ever noticed the title. When I read the chapter, I found it to be full of good stuff, especially verses 5-9.

The believer replied, “Every promise of God proves true;
    he protects everyone who runs to him for help.
So don’t second-guess him;
    he might take you to task and show up your lies.”

And then he prayed, “God, I’m asking for two things
    before I die; don’t refuse me—
Banish lies from my lips
    and liars from my presence.
Give me enough food to live on,
    neither too much nor too little.
If I’m too full, I might get independent,
    saying, ‘God? Who needs him?’
If I’m poor, I might steal
    and dishonor the name of my God.”

One of the big consequences of my adultery was financial loss. My stupidity put my family at risk for losing everything. I lost my income and for nearly a year, I was basically unemployed. I worked part-time and made some money during 2012, but it wasn't much.

When we filed our tax returns for 2012, I was shocked and humiliated at the amount of income we made. It was about 80% less than we reported the year before. Also, 40% of it was made from August to December. The fact that we didn't go bankrupt, lost our home during that time and accumulate tons of debt is a testimony to God. He provided through others in so many ways. Amazing.

We are basically starting over and still recovering. It has been quite a journey, but God has used this time to teach us quite a bit about ourselves and how to be more honoring with money. Sadly, we earned quite a bit of income for years, but had little to nothing to show for it. I don't want to repeat that type of living. It has taken some "hard knocks" to move me out of that mindset and into to a more God-honoring one. I still have a ways to go.

As the Proverb in chapter 30 says, too much or too little can lead to dishonoring God. Though it is tempting to want to make a ton of money and not struggle, that's not the answer. I want just enough so I will stay dependent on God. If He chooses to bless us financially so we can then be a blessing to others, then that would be humbling and exciting. We want to be faithful with a little, so hopefully if He entrusts us with more, we will continue to bless others and honor Him.

We have met a family here in New Albany that is an amazing example of giving and servant-hood. They go on mission trips and constantly look for ways to bless others, including Amy and me. It is truly amazing. I want to spend more time with people like that! I want to be a giver and live for Christ through local and foreign missions. I don't want to be materialistic and live in the "rat race" of life, stressed out to the max.

What I know is this, we are wealthy compared to a majority of the world. We have SO much, even if our income was 80% less last year. It's really about perspective. I have to remind myself that we are blessed, even spoiled, and that God is faithful. Living a life of cheerful giving and serving others is the key to contentment and joy. Worrying about money, materialism, and stress causes anxiety, greed, depression, and self-centered thinking and living.

Lord, forgive me! Help me trust You and honor You with all of the resources You have been so gracious to provide! Help Amy and I be good stewards and live a life of giving and serving!