Amy is not my better half

I bet some of you read the title of this post and were surprised and maybe even a bit bothered, though I did reference this in yesterday's post. Well, I haven't lost my mind or sense. I promise. Keep reading. 

When we went to Branson, MO, they walked us through their marriage and relationship principles. They quickly reminded us that Biblical marriage is not about two people coming together as two halves to make one whole. The movie Jerry McGuire promotes a "you complete me" sort of relating but that's not Gods design.

I think two halves don't make a whole, they can make a mess. If I come as a half and you do too, then I need you to fill me and meet all my needs, and vice-versa. As long as we each do that, then all is well. However, when we stop doing that for each other, the relationship can start to fall apart. This sort of relating contributes to a lot of divorces.

Instead, two people, particularly two followers of Christ, need to come together in marriage striving toward wholeness as individuals who relate to each other out of overflow, not deficit. As each of them grow closer to Christ, they are more capable of fulfilling their God given roles as husband and wife. Their personal and relationship growth increases as well as their ability to influence each other. This is what oneness is about, spiritually speaking.

Therefore, Amy is not my better half. She's way more than a half. She's amazing and full of faith in Christ. Her walk with God has enabled her to love, forgive, heal and grow, despite my failures. That's huge! I don't want to belittle her by calling her a half. :)

We are each responsible for growing in relationship to God AND each other. It's a both/and. The more we grow as individuals, spiritually/emotionally/physically/mentally,then the more we have to offer. This has been our pursuit the past two years. I have had to pour out my heart and soul to God and let Him transform me from the inside out. I want to let Him do His sanctifying work in me, daily. It's a lifelong pursuit and process. I'm no where finished yet, but I am excited about where He's leading me.

Therefore, as a husband, I want to help Amy become all that God intended. As my wife, I want her to help me be all that God intended. At the same time, I want to get serious about pursuing Christ and dying to self, letting His life be my passion. I want Amy to do likewise. Then, we want to step back and watch God amaze us - again and again! That's way more romantic than Jerry McGuire.

Ephesians 5:21-33 (NIV)

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.