Just Throw Strikes

As a family, we love spending time on the baseball field. We are much more balanced about it since moving to North MS, but it's still a love of ours. A phrase Amy and I have come to laugh about is what coaches and parents tell their child who is pitching. If their child or player is having trouble on the mound, some may say, "Just throw strikes." It sounds encouraging and is a simple statement meant to get them back on track. It's kind of funny, though, if you think about it.

"Just throw strikes" assumes a lot of things. One, the pitcher has put in a lot of work and is capable of throwing strikes. Two, at the moment he has been told that, it means he has temporarily lost focus and needs to refocus. Maybe the crowd is extra loud or he's getting down on himself and throwing a lot of balls, walking batters. "Just throw strikes" is meant to calm him down and turn things around for him, and the team.

What about in relationships? Would this "just throw strikes" type of statement work? Say your marriage is on the rocks and struggling. You tell a friend about it and he/she says, "Just throw strikes." Of course, he wouldn't say that statement, but he may give some simplistic answers to your problem, such as "Go to counseling." "Go on more dates." "Spend more time together." "Get away for the weekend."

All of these things would make a difference if done on a regular basis, and you both wanted to do them and were willing to get the help needed to work through it all. However, if things are terribly off in your relationship, doing the simple things may be quite challenging. Therefore, to "just throw strikes" won't happen automatically. It may take something deeper, bigger.

To me, there has to be some significant "spiritual" change that takes place. It starts with my heart. If my "want to" is lacking, then I need God to change my heart; to change my "want to." If I don't want to love my wife, spend time with my children, be faithful, do the hard work of recovery, etc, then I need God to change my heart and my "want to." If my spouse doesn't want to do all of those things, then I need to pray for God to change her "want to."

Until that happens, then I have hard choices to make. If my spouse is not doing the things he or she is supposed to do, then I need to pray for the courage to confront it lovingly, honestly and in a God honoring way. Stuffing it and either pretending it isn't a problem or doing things to hurt them, either actively or passively, isn't the right approach. You can set loving, healthy boundaries while showing them love and care at the same time. Pray for wisdom to know how, while seeking Godly counsel.

Also, it is hard to know IF God will change your heart or your spouse's heart and "want to." Expect it though. Seek Him daily. Fall on your face before God daily, asking Him to heal you and your spouse. However, start with you. Ask Him to first change you. "Change starts with me." I must change first and stop trying to change all of my circumstances or other people. When I change for the better and God works in and through me, then my ability to influence others increases.

Pray for the courage to do what God has called you to do, REGARDLESS of your spouse's actions. Don't make your faithfulness and obedient to God contingent on other people's actions or your circumstances. Don't fall into the trap that says, "When things improve, then I will do my part." Or, "when he shows me love, then I will respect him."

I am grateful that God has changed my "want to." It took a major fall out for Him to do so, unfortunately. Prior to August 26, 2011, I refused to let Him do His work in me and fell into deep sin. I hope that isn't the case for others, but sadly, it may take something HUGE to wake some people up spiritually. Crisis has a way of turning us either to God and each other, or further way.

So how do you "just throw strikes" in life? 

• Surrender to a loving, Father who will transform you from the inside out. Give up your will, your way, and trust Him/His ways. 
• Ask God to first change you. "Change starts with me." 
• Pray without stopping. It's your "spiritual oxygen." 
• Do what God has called you to do, regardless of your circumstances or what others choose to do. "My response is my responsibility." 
• Get help. Don't go solo. Seek counseling. Read. Study scripture. Have a mentor/accountability partner. Be transparent and honest with yourself and others. Stop pretending. 
• See it as a process, a journey. It isn't about a quick fix or quick relief. It's about walking through the pain, persevering and letting God prune you and heal you. In His time. In His ways. With His strength, and joy. 

It's really that simple. "Just throw strikes." (not really but it sounds funny, or not :))

Isaiah 40:38-31 (NASB)

²⁸ Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
³⁰ Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
³¹ Yet those who ^[aa]wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will ^[ab]mount up with ^[ac]wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.